Thursday, March 03, 2016

Another try

I am truly sorry that so many of your comments aren't posting. I do read them and post them, but they tend to be taken away within a day or so. Also, yes...several of my new posts were high jacked as well. Our nerd squad keeps giving me information that I do not want about a person whom I don't care to know much more about. I try to let Bing handle it. She's done most of the reading of everything dug up and I have been known to plug my ears and hum because, no, I do not want to know what new business this stalker has or what her political views are. Kind of a slippery tyrant, though, or so they tell me. I am urged to take the blog private. Trying to avoid that. We'll see. Mostly I am just bewildered that someone whom I could care less about seems obsessed with not only me, but my whole family and making my life as miserable as possible by signing me up for magazines that I have no interest in (hydroponic farming) and taunting me for having had cancer and yes, fucking up my blog and emails. 

So, I will give this one more try and see what happens.

THINGS THAT MAKE ME LAUGH....because I have done my share of crying in the last year and it is just easier.

1) Our dog, Socks, is madly in love with a black poodle that has shown up a few times on our daily walks in the park. The weather has been unusually balmy for March, so I've been walking with him to the park daily and I swear he looks for her. I try to aid and abet as well as I can. I have noticed that the poodle (her name is Hazel) has an owner who walks her around 2 in the afternoon and I've been trying to show up around that time. The only problem is that Hazel's human is a tall, good looking man several years younger than me and I fear that he is realizing what we're up to, except that he thinks that perhaps it is ME interested in him and not Socks being interested in Hazel. He gives me these sweet pitying looks and I can just see him going home and telling his wife that there is this older woman in the park who has it bad for him. But, I swear Socks goes limp with love at the mere sight of Hazel. He sniffs her butt in a gentlemanly way and sticks his chest out when they walk side by side. He growls menacingly at other dogs who dare to cast an eye at Hazel. I've tried to talk to him about this as he's trying WAY too hard and it shows. If Hazel seemed to be amused by squirrels, Socks will try to look amused as well, even though he has never met a squirrel that he liked. When she makes these little whimpering noises when we say goodbye, I swear he pouts all the way home. WHY didn't I invite them home for a playdate? Well, because I don't KNOW this human, Socks and I can't be entertaining strange men in my house just so that you can prance around the back yard trying to impress Hazel with your skill at catching a frisbee.  And Hazel? Ah. I fear she is a femme fatale. I suspect that she has several other dogs on a string as well. Poor Socks. Oh, well. It happens to all of us at some time in our lives, yes?

2) Watching the Republican Debates. This is fodder for SNL each and every time. And each and every time, Bing and I look over incredulously at each other. Seriously? Did the Donald just tell Ted Cruz to shut up? Did he just call Marco Rubio little Marco? Why can't anyone else see how he struts like a peacock? My god, he cracks himself up over and over again. Watching him with Jeb Bush was almost painful. Like Jeb was the bespectacled skinny kid on the playground and the Donald was the bully taking his lunch money over and over and over again. But what isn't funny? The way this creepy narcissist keeps winning primaries. I do admit to a sort of rubbernecking interest in watching those debates, though. Ted Cruz tries so hard to look as if he is above all of this, but then ends up with his chin quivering in fury as the king of liars struts around calling him one. And is it just me or does anyone else think that Ted Cruz is a closet queen? Every time I see him, I think to myself that this man is gay. Not that I care, that is fine and dandy with me. What isn't fine and dandy is being gay and trotting out your wife and kids like set pieces. Bing reminds me that if Ted was gay, the Democrats would have surely outed him by now. My guess is that he is waaayyy in the closet or the most discreet man on the planet.

3) Ok...I find it odd that a woman would tell me that she is a lesbian with triplets who won the lottery when she is really a straight woman married to a man and the mother of four non-trips. And this same woman holds herself up as a paragon of honesty. Ok, Utah, you win. You warned me. I owe you fifty bucks. Sorry...this will probably not make sense to any one else. I think you had to be there.

4) Bing and I are going through cruise brochures. Do we want to consider an American cruise like following the Lewis and Clark trail or something called "Mark Twain's love with a REAL LIFE Mark Twain impersonator." As opposed to what? A fake one? Do we want to go on a theme cruise? A running cruise? This confuses me. Isn't the whole point of a cruise to lollygag? Why would I want to run? Are they going to set the ship on fire periodically? How about a conservative cruise? Bing thinks that this would be a gas. To go on one and then mess with everyone on board. Righto, Ms. Genius. Like I want to sit around and listen to some rich people with closed minds getting all verbose about how much they dislike obamacare? But, then there is the liberal cruise. That sounds more fun. But, it's not even close to November and I am already sick to death of politics. How about an alternative lifestyle cruise? The picture showed two hot muscular, deeply tanned men gazing adoringly into each others eyes. The good news is that Bing and I would be able to hold hands with no dirty looks. The bad news would be that I suspect there would be PDAs flying all over the place and we aren't into sucking face in public. Then there is the singles cruise. Bing suggested that we could take that and um...ROLE PLAY. That we could pretend to meet and fall in love. I admit that I gave her a very long probing look. Excuse me? I can't even perform phone sex without sounding like a wooden voiced idiot ("Oh, honey, I am so um....wet..? Is that the right word?") Does she really think I could pull off something of this magnitude? Although, it might be fun to see her try to do this. I suggested the Shakespeare cruise. All Shakespeare, all the time. She mimed vomiting. Such an actress I married! Our final look was at a mystery cruise. I think we might actually be good at this. We are both good at puzzles, both have relatively high IQs and are both competitive. My oncologist tells me that I would have made an excellent Viking, too. So? But, this sounds a lot like a working vacation and I have already had too many of those. So...no cruises. We are now looking at a cross country trip this Summer to attend a friend's wedding, a family vacation. And...just for us...maybe a trip to Italy, to Paris or to Spain. I have always wanted to see Michaelangelo's Pieta. Bing, being Bing, wants to run with the bulls.

5) This video. It just made me laugh and smile.



Ok...let's see how long this stays up. Any wagers?

24 comments:

jk said...

You've been missed! Sounds like you're doing well and keeping things in perspective-- nice to have things to look forward to and love the idea you're planning trips. And, Go Socks! Nothing better than being smitten...

How do anonymous fans stay in the loop should your blog go private?

Bernie said...

Sincerely hoping all will be well, you deserve a break. Bernie

lily cedar said...

What a lovely video. It's nice to hear that you're well and enjoying life.

I'm reading an excellent book right now, "The Art of Happiness" by the Dalia Lama and in it he talks about people who come into your life that help you to learn compassion and help you earn karmic merit. It sounds like your hacker is such a person. He or she has a sad, sad life to be so obsessed and angry with someone they have never met. Of course it's much easier to have compassion with someone when they're not fucking with my life:)

I've read a few good books lately which you might enjoy.

The Humans by Matt Haig
A Man Called Ove by Fredrick Backman

There was a third but I'm too tired right now to remember it.

Take care.

Lulubelle B said...

I just noticed it says you're reading The Fiery Cross. I read the whole Outlander series back to back to back last summer.Kindle makes it too easy. When I finished An Echo in the Bone I ran through the Lord John series. Can't wait for the next one. My guilty pleasure.

Joanne Noragon said...

The kids' bathing suits looked just the same when my daughters hit the water. My two piece was a little less revealing; it was only 1965, for crying out loud. Thanks for the memories. In case all this blog etherizes, too, have a great summer.

sweffling said...

Yippee, you're back! At least for a while. Fingers crossed that this whole sorry, silly episode is done and dusted soon:)

Alicia McMahan said...

I've really missed reading your posts. I hope this stalker gets a life and leaves you alone! Have you been feeling better?

Tree C said...

Great to get your catch up. Also, your safety and well-being is more important than our reading this. My vote is for you to do what is safest for the family. Make the blog private or do whatever is best for you and the crew.

ZC

Mary said...

So glad that you are back!

Camille said...

Have missed you and your posts. Hope the horrible troll goes away forever. But we'll more than understand and support you if you decide to make the blog private.

E said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nancy said...

Thank you for trying and trying - I enjoy you're blogs !!!
Nan

Miss Healthypants said...

So glad to see you back on here! :)

Sue Pike said...

Happy to see you are back, love reading your blog.
Sue

Marie said...

Sure have missed your stories and I hope you give us notice as to how to join your blog site as a private reader.
Seems like old times, having it to read this morning.....

Kate T said...

Good to have you back. Also, every time I see/hear Donald Trump, I imagine this is what family dinner with your brother-in-law is like. (We all have a Donald Trump in our families I guess. Mine is one of my younger brothers...ugh.)

Hrtnsol10 said...

So very glad to see your post. Have missed you immensely.

Three said...

I come back to your blog over and over when I feel like I am drifting, un-anchored and overwhelmed. Fortunately that doesn't happen much these days, but I am always comforted knowing you are out there- making so much sense. Every time I come here I feel like I have found kindred souls. Please, please please, don't go away. Or if you must find a way to take us with you.

I know you have been through so much, and I am so sorry for that. I wish you so much more peace and love and laughter.

Kass said...

Finally.
I clicked and was able to read.
On my list of things that make me happy.

pawsingtospeak said...

Welcome back!

I can't even watch the debates - too much of a circus. Great example for our newly eligible voter daughter...

Who knew there were so many cruise choices?

Socks and Hazel - sounds like a match!

Twomomsforus said...

My comments are not posting! Happy to hear from you! Ellie Smith (I can't post with open id and my blog email)

Jocelyn said...

Well, I'm coming late to this game, and this post is still up, so that's good news, right?

I have missed you but have been very absorbed in the life in front of me the last few weeks; we know I'm feeling better when my brain thinks, but what's Maria up to?

I am, in general, not a cruise person, but I managed to persuade my mom that she should take our entire family on a Viking cruise of the Danube this summer. Everyone I know has done a Viking cruise speaks very highly of the experience, so I'm really excited!

So, hi.

j byrd said...

OMG........I'm so so so glad you are back....

j byrd said...

I'm sorry to post twice, but I just got done reading your post. Can I ask how will I be able to read your post, if you go private?