Sunday, July 20, 2014

All the more for that

Hands on me.

In the shower.

One hand  gently encircling mine as I hold my baggie encased hand up and out of the shower spray

the other gently washing me with softly fragrant goat milk soap, under my breasts, around my belly, between my legs, my ass crack, underarms, neck

and then leaning down to wash each individual gently

hair is soapsyed up, tilted back to receive the soft warm cascade of shower waterfall

arm encircling my waist

"I won't let you fall, promise. Lean into me. I've got you."

Is this like kinda fuckin' erotic or is it just me? she asks.

We laugh together, chuckles tapering around the soft aqua shower walls

Both arms around me now and we just stand, mindful of the water splashing all around and over us

Out of the shower, toweled off carefully head to toe

Off to bedroom, breasts fit into bra cup, all buckled in.

time to saddle up those beauties, she says....

brown sundress over head gently, gently, not to jostle shoulders

hair brushed back like a seal

look at yourself in the mirror, are so fucking gorgous she says

Sighing as ankle braces are slid on, arms help me up, wait until my balance gains purchase

What? You look...surprisingly sexy. Soon you'll see Lady Gaga prancing around in these and won't you feel silly for acting like such a prima donna...

Watching her water the yard and stumble through massive garden weeds in hot prairie winds

showing her Liv's latest selfie with her Father. in miner hats with lights ablaze as they prepare for a nightime spelunking.

Mama? the darkness is so dark when we shut our headlights off that just for a moment, we are suspended in time like dust motes. the sun in north carolina is like a slasher film though when we emerge into the daylight. dad and I are fine but we are worried about you. we can come home early. just say the word.

send a selfie back of Bing and me smiling into the camera, her behind me as I lean into her chest

I'm fine, Liv. no worries. have fun. in less than two weeks you'll be 15. god help us all

Wanna see a movie today? Just escape for awhile from the house, maybe I'll take you out for some dinner? Any flick you choose. ANY one. I promise no grousing. Swear on my Meemaw's grave, mon chere. THAT one? Um...sure...boy howdy, you are going for it, aren't you, sugar? Ok...let's do this thang.

Shoulder rubs that last for over a half hour.

hands that know me

eyes that know me

heart that knows mine

darlin', you'll never walk alone, why must you try so hard to get through it all by yourself? you're one of those people who think they are this big hermit, but gal 'o mine? you are soooo loved. by so many. just get that big brain of yours around that big fuckin' truth. but look into my eyes. these eyes? they will never lose their shine for you.

later, flipping through emily dickinson's book of poems

if your nerve deny you, go above your nerve

Nike said it with less beauty:

Just do it.

allow yourself to fall back, trusting that her arms will be there

they haven't failed you yet

Bing is back home.

Bing is back home.

Bing is back home. 


Joanne Noragon said...

I am so happy for you.

Jacquelineand.... said...

Joy trebled.

You are loved.

lily cedar said...

I'm glad she's home. Now I won't worry so much:)

Leslie Giambrone said...

Bing Love...sounds like the perfect Love for you. I'm so glad she is home. Be well...sending good thoughts for tomorrow's news.

the only daughter said...

And with that, I'm off this Monday morning with warmth in my heart for you and she and that which you are together.


Thank You.


e said...

Well, that's way better than toughing it out on your own. Yes?

Jocelyn said...

Between Bing and Dickinson, the women don't fail you.

This line: if your nerve deny you, go above your nerve

Oh, Emily!

kristi said...

We took TC to a hotel because he wanted to go and school is about to start. We took a shower together and my hubby washed my hair. Soooo sexy.

Then tried to have sex in the bathroom. That didn't work out so well, but it was fun trying.

Praying for healing for you Maria, and isn't it nice to be loved?