Please excuse Maria for a short while. She has just returned from a very long, very draining, very forced gaiety session with her very conservative, small town, Republican Catholic family and she is unable to do much more than go to work and come home right now.
1) Choosing to drive to small town family function with sister, Patrice and mentally challenged 39 year old niece who insisted on listening to Katy Perry, the soundtrack from Frozen and a very happy song called "Happy" until I was ready to leap out of a moving car. They were not on board with my pleas to listen to some Stones, Springsteen, Nirvana or Led Zep. Even James Taylor was spurned by them. If I ever hear the song "Happy" again, I may throw up.
2) Watching my sister, Patrice turn from the sister that I know and mostly like, to a Sarah Palin loving, Obama basher ("Well, he is just a Muslim, everyone knows that") in order to pander to the rest of the family.
3) Being shown photos on my great nephew's phone of him "shooting" fish. This is actually done with a bow and arrow that has a fishing line attached to it. This is okay, I suppose, I thought as he proudly showed me photo after photo of him holding up huge fish with arrows struck through them and bleeding profusely. But then, it all went south when I asked him where all those fish were. ""Oh, we threw them back in the water," he said, casually. "DEAD?" I asked. "Well, some were dead, some were just injured," he said callously. This caused me to give him a stern lecture, threaten to sic the law on him and make my sister, Celia (his Grandmother) look daggers at me. I told him the story of how stupid white men went around killing buffalo for sport in the old days and how this dreadful waste infuriated the Native Americans, who witnessed it. "What you did is not manly at all," I told him. "It's stupid and cruel." He avoided me like the plague after that.
And this was just the small stuff.
I'm glad to be home even if I woke up with my left knee swollen up and my right foot aching. Guess I'll take the cane to work.
Tonight it will be my pleasure to lay on the sofa with my feet in Bing's lap while we watch The Americans.
I've gotta be me, dudes. But, I think that my family sincerely wishes that I was someone else. Especially when my sister, Jessie, was bashing Obamacare and saying that she and her husband were upset about having to pay more for insurance and how it was taxing them. And I asked her if she was so upset about money why she just bought all three of her daughters and herself and her husband smart phones.....
Yeah, I'm not popular in that group....