You may or may not have read my blog in mid February where I detailed firing our office translator, Marisa.
Marisa was a
We were so glad to see her go. We are in the process of interviewing for another translator. Unfortunately, this is taking a long time because we had several candidates apply and my two other co-office founders and I are pressed for time.
So, guess who drops in to see me yesterday?
All decked out in a business suit. This surprised me since during her last month of employment, she made a point of wearing jeans and platform heels with blouses that Jennifer Lopez sports on American Idol each week.
She had the audacity to smile at me as I walked by. I didn't return it, just nodded and kept on walking. Asked our secretaries to make appointments with the three of us office owners. My secretary came into my office and asked me what I wanted to do. I said to go ahead and make the appointment. Actually, I told her, I was free for the next half hour, wasn't I? If she wanted to talk now, let's get to it.
Marisa came in beaming. Walked around my desk as if she planned to hug me. I stood up and deflected her, told her to have a seat. What did she want? I kept my voice even but icy cold.
She faltered, but just a little. Picked up a new photo I have of Liv on my desk, one where she is mid air flying over a hurdle at a track meet.
"Is this LIZ? Oh, she is so athletic!" she gushed.
"Her name is Liv. And yes, she is," I said, in a monotone.
Her eyes shifted nervously. This was obviously not what she expected and this utterly dumbfounded me. WHAT did she expect? That I was going to welcome her to our office with open arms?
"I just...well....I was wondering...if maybe you would consider giving my position back? I just...I found another job but I HATE my boss. She's soooo mean! She's not anything like you! You were so kewllll! I loved your clothes, especially those Chanel suits! And I saw you and Liz once shopping at the mall and you both looked so....so...so... Free People! You were like a fashion role model for me! (Oh, god...no...you always dressed like some slutty wannabe Beyonce and you were fashioning yourself after ME! I think not.) And I used to go home and tell Shane (husband) about how freaking witty you were, how listening to you was like listening to a really hip sitcom. I see now that maybe I made a few mistakes...."
I cut her off there. Because I barked out a laugh. Was she kidding? No. I could see that she wasn't. My god, how could someone be so unaware of what an asshole they were? Instead of saying what I was thinking, I looked her directly in the eye and spoke.
"Marisa, you were habitually late. You rarely arrived at the office less than a half hour late. You dressed inappropriately and were told this but kept on doing it. You have four days of absence where you didn't bother to call in sick or whatever, just didn't show up and once when Dinah (secretary) called to see if you were okay, you accused her of harassment. You left more than once mid afternoon shift to sneak off to see a matinee. You left early often, in fact, it was pretty regular that you were just nowhere to be found after 3:30 in the afternoon. You were openly rude at your exit meeting with us. I believe you called me a "snotty lesbo" and expressed the wish that my "pretend" wife would cheat on me. Do you recall any of this?"
Marisa looked up, shiny tears in her fake eyes.
"Well, Maria, I guess.....I guess...you should know that I was going through some hard times back then. I suffered a few miscarriages, I didn't share that with the office staff because I was just...so...so...very sad. And I had untreated bipolar problems that I am now being treated for. It's my hope that we can have a clean slate. I think I could be a real asset to your office and I will make sure that Jin and Kam (co-owners) know that when I meet with them later in the week."
She stood up and held out her hand. I ignored her and stood up and held the door open for her.
She walked out and then right before I shut the door, I caught her sticking her tongue out at me over her shoulder.
Wow. Imagine my shock and surprise.
Over my dead body will she come back here. Over my dead body.
But, what do you think? Is this like the cheekiest thing ever? Do you buy her explanation? What would YOU do?