Friday, December 27, 2013

Nightmare or cold feet or?

Last night, I dreamed that Natalie Portman and Jonna Walsh (Lee DeWyze's wife) were my wedding planners. I have no idea how this happened. I do admit that I was so starstruck around Natalie that it was ridiculous.

They had somehow picked out this huge cathedral for us to marry in and I was distraught because well....things had obviously gotten well out of hand. But, I was leery of upsetting Natalie for some reason, she was so invested in my wedding, kept showing me photos of poufy wedding dresses in magazines that disgusted me and delighted her. Jonna wasn't much in the picture, except that she did call me a pissy pot when I vetoed her idea of having everyone play tag before the wedding to "loosen us all up."

So, there I was in this god awful pouf dress, looking like a puffed pastry. I didn't see anyone I knew except Bing and she was in jeans and came up to me all excited. She had this "great idea!" She was bothered by all the children running around and getting into things at the cathedral that they shouldn't be messing with, so she decided to put on a production of A Christmas Carol to keep them all occupied.

I told her that this would NEVER work, there were time constraints here, couldn't she see that? She just nodded and said, "Don't be silly. It will just take a minute. I'll be right back."

I texted my sister, Patrice, told her that Bing had the bright shinys. This is our family word for what happens to Bing sometimes. She often gets waylaid by projects, etc. I call these the bright shinys. She will decide that she needs to take the front door off the hinges and sand it down and put wood treatment on it. This will only take an hour. It never just takes an hour. First, she will have trouble getting the door off. Then the sanding will hurt her back. Then, she will have to rest because her back hurts. Then, she won't feel like doing the rest of the work, so the door will sit in our garage until sundown when she realizes that (oh no!) we DO need to put the door back on, so she will try to put the door back on, unfinished. She will be unable to do it and I will have to help her. I won't be strong enough and she will enlist our neighbor to help us. They will get it on around midnight, finally. Where it will stay to this day. Just an example.

I somehow find my family and we were waiting for Bing to get finished. Of course, she ended up texting me that we should do the wedding without her since obviously this was going to take some time. I was so furious. How was I to do this without her?

And then, all of the sudden, a bunch of cleaning people came in wearing white jackets. They were there to clean to cathedral. We had to leave. We didn't belong there today. It was cleaning day.

I woke up...MAD AS HELL at Bing.

Any takers on this one???

10 comments:

megan blogs said...

I'm thinking cold feet. Not wanting a ceremony, then deciding it's all right because Natalie Portman is a part of it, and the stars in your eyes make it hard for you to have the celebration the way you'd like.

Bing is being Bing. It was her idea originally to have the ceremony, no? So, you agree, and now here you are, in a pouffy dress, in a huge cathedral, and she's off doing something else.

The cleaning people are those daily things that seem to pop up no matter what sort of fantasy day we'd like. Buzzkills.

As you can most likely see, i'm not a dream interpreter and don't play one on tv.

bari said...

Happy Wedding Day, Maria. I'm sure it will be perfect. Two thoughts about your dream - First, your story about Bing reminds me so much of one of my favorite kid books - If You Give a Pig a Pancake. (The story also reminds me of me. My husband would love it and probably give this advice: the way to a long, happy marriage is to remember that those things that drive you crazy are also the things you love.Obviously, take it with a grain of salt, but we have been married for 22 years.) Second, Natalie is obvious - she's hot - she's always in my dreams.

Joanne Noragon said...

HaHa. Great dream. You'll be fine.

e said...

Hilarious!

Surely just a simple anxiety dream. Hey, I'd be nervous if I were getting married.

plufrompdx

Sarahf said...

Nope, no idea what that one means. Too much cheese before bed? Doesn't that give you odd dream?

LizC said...

Easy...you fancy Natalie Portman, wish it were you married to Lee DeWyze and harbour a little bit of doubt about the depth of Bing's devotion to you (or perhaps if you deserve it). I don't see cold feet though.

Annemarie of Holland said...

Obvious case of PMS (pre-marital stress)!

Have a great day, and do show us a picture of you in the poufy dress! *mean grin*

Fenstar de Luxe said...

LOL it's an anxiety dream, don't pay too much attention to it. We all have them about all sorts of occasions, it doesn't mean you have cold feet.

Cold feet is that nagging gut feeling that just won't go away, that keeps you awake every single night and makes your stomach churn. That's the one you listen to. Not dreams like this.

kj said...

i can't help being a therapist…

are you sure you and bing are sufficiently compatible? it seems she has strong opinions that seem to conflict with your own sense of what is best sometimes.

i was reluctant to marry my partner. i did it with a numb anxiety, but as soon as the ceremony was over, i knew it was right.

that said, i think dreams and feelings at the least deserve fresh air. they sometimes know what we try not to know.

not saying this as bible. just saying.

love
kj

the only daughter said...

You lost me at Natalie Portman. :-)