Last night, I dreamed that Natalie Portman and Jonna Walsh (Lee DeWyze's wife) were my wedding planners. I have no idea how this happened. I do admit that I was so starstruck around Natalie that it was ridiculous.
They had somehow picked out this huge cathedral for us to marry in and I was distraught because well....things had obviously gotten well out of hand. But, I was leery of upsetting Natalie for some reason, she was so invested in my wedding, kept showing me photos of poufy wedding dresses in magazines that disgusted me and delighted her. Jonna wasn't much in the picture, except that she did call me a pissy pot when I vetoed her idea of having everyone play tag before the wedding to "loosen us all up."
So, there I was in this god awful pouf dress, looking like a puffed pastry. I didn't see anyone I knew except Bing and she was in jeans and came up to me all excited. She had this "great idea!" She was bothered by all the children running around and getting into things at the cathedral that they shouldn't be messing with, so she decided to put on a production of A Christmas Carol to keep them all occupied.
I told her that this would NEVER work, there were time constraints here, couldn't she see that? She just nodded and said, "Don't be silly. It will just take a minute. I'll be right back."
I texted my sister, Patrice, told her that Bing had the bright shinys. This is our family word for what happens to Bing sometimes. She often gets waylaid by projects, etc. I call these the bright shinys. She will decide that she needs to take the front door off the hinges and sand it down and put wood treatment on it. This will only take an hour. It never just takes an hour. First, she will have trouble getting the door off. Then the sanding will hurt her back. Then, she will have to rest because her back hurts. Then, she won't feel like doing the rest of the work, so the door will sit in our garage until sundown when she realizes that (oh no!) we DO need to put the door back on, so she will try to put the door back on, unfinished. She will be unable to do it and I will have to help her. I won't be strong enough and she will enlist our neighbor to help us. They will get it on around midnight, finally. Where it will stay to this day. Just an example.
I somehow find my family and we were waiting for Bing to get finished. Of course, she ended up texting me that we should do the wedding without her since obviously this was going to take some time. I was so furious. How was I to do this without her?
And then, all of the sudden, a bunch of cleaning people came in wearing white jackets. They were there to clean to cathedral. We had to leave. We didn't belong there today. It was cleaning day.
I woke up...MAD AS HELL at Bing.
Any takers on this one???