Saturday, January 12, 2013

Home

She's home. We've talked. And she's asked me to respect her privacy by not sharing the absolute whys and hows on this blog.

So...no she was not attacked. Yes, she was unable to fit in. She's a woman with a strong sense of justice and could not live with the things that she saw every day. She decided to bow out. Felt that if she stayed, she was condoning a way of life that she found unacceptable.

She met some spectacular people. All of them untouchables. She said that the people who helped her the most, were the most kind, were considered to be bottom of the barrel in the caste system.

She's home again. And with no desire to ever return to India, even in a tour group.

Thank you so much for all of your supportive, kind wishes.

And I apologize for not being able to give specifics. I'm sure that you can surmise what was happening. Suffice it to say that she refused to be silent about what she saw as the unacceptable treatment of women. And she paid the price by being shunned.

Enough said.

And, yes....a big lesson learned at a great cost.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

What Bing witnessed is reality for many women around the world. People being treated on the basis of there socio-economic class or birth is also pretty a pretty widespread phenomena. We need more people to be aware, and to speak out. Perhaps someday Bing will feel like sharing (not necessarily here, but in place it can make a difference), to be a testimony for those people. The world is a rough place, by and large. We in the United States have no freakin' idea what life is truly like in so much of the world.

Raine said...

I am so thankful to hear that Bing is home safe. After reading your blog for many years, I can definitely see how Bing wld not be able to sit silently while the women of India are treated so terribly.

Raine

Deb said...

Glad she's home safe.

Eric said...

I'm glad she's home safe.

Golden To Silver Val said...

I am so relieved that Bing is home safe. I'm so sorry for what she's been through and can only hope that someday she will speak out about it...if not to help the women of India, maybe to help other unsuspecting teachers from going through what Bing did if they go there. I've come to love Bing through your blog and worried tremendously about her....especially since you had such bad vibes about her visit. I hope that Bing can make something good out of this horrible experience.

LL Cool Joe said...

My partner lived in Calcutta in India for 3 months, years ago, and worked in a Orphanage. It was totally life changing. I never really believed people change that much. I changed my mind after this.

I'm glad Bing is home safely.

Anonymous said...

(Sorry, I was typing on my phone when I wrote this comment and I see it was not a complete success...)
What Bing witnessed is reality for many women around the world. People being treated unfairly or poorly on the basis of there socio-economic class or birth is also a pretty widespread phenomena. (It is easy to see why the sex trade flourishes is in so much of our world (even in the United States) when life is valued at such a cheap a commodity level.) We need more people to be aware, and to speak out. Perhaps someday Bing will feel like sharing (not necessarily here, but in place it can make a difference), to be a testimony for those people. The world is a rough place, by and large. We in the United States have no freakin' idea what life is truly like in so much of the world.

ChiTown Girl said...

Thank God she made it home safely. You must be so relieved.

Thanks for the input about Magnum's back. He actually had read up about it, and found the same advice. But, he couldn't bring himself to do the ice.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad she's home safe.
My friend had a terrible experience in Brazil as an exchange student. Her host family did not see the poor outside their compound, it was like they were stray cats.
Jennfactor

Anonymous said...

This certainly puts her comment about her mentor not liking women and American women in general in perspective. She may have been seen as a threat in whatever system she was operating in. And shunning would have been probably been the method employed to control her. You commented that she commented about 'looking like man.' In societies where sexuality is tightly controlled (and where being able to actual live as a gay person would be the height of luxury) challenges to the social system are taken very seriously. At the very least I hope she is able to communicate her experiences to the Fulbright organization. It is amazing there was not more attention paid to mentor selection by them.

T Okaku said...

Welcome home.... India and so many other countries treat women & other humans in such deplorable ways... and yes, one of your commentators said, the people in the US really have no idea what goes on in those worlds...

Alice Kildaire said...

I am so very glad she has made her way safely home. I hate that she must experience this.

Teacher Cynthia said...

Very glad she is home safe. I have a feeling this will deepen her respect for you and shift her views politically. Tlc... togetherness... recoup. It will all work out. And may we all work together for the liberation of all people everywhere. Zc

lyon de clarasvals said...

Relieved to hear Bing is home. She has such a great spirit. I'm sure she'll heal stronger and be an even better voice somehow for those good people she met.

Kimberly Wyatt said...

Good for Bing for not standing by and condoning what is wrong. I'm truly glad she is safe and although I'm sorry it didn't work out, I'm happy you have her back.

Superjanel said...

So glad to hear she's home safe. I've heard that can be a rough part of the world for women; I guess I thought that the academic world in India would somehow be different.

Josie Two Shoes said...

I was so relieved and grateful for all of you to read that Bing was safely home. Yes, a hard lesson learned, and a very scary lesson. We don't realize how good we have it here in our country with many faults of its own, until something like this happens. It puts things in perspective. Bing will always stand up for what is right, and there will always be those who try to oppress the speaking of truth. I am proud of her courage.

chris said...

they kill their own female babies there for chrissake. it's no wonder bing couldn't bear it. So glad she's home.

Prairie Wanderer said...

Following your last few posts, I felt uneasy. Glad to hear everything is okay (relatively speaking, of course) with Bing, not so glad to hear about the despicable treatment of women and the caste system. I naively thought that the caste system was a relic of the past, but I guess not.

A work colleague of mine is from India and she has said it very much depends on where you are in India. Some areas are progressive, some not so much. And she talked at length about how she was treated because she was a woman, and how she was treated because she married a white Catholic man. She didn't get into specifics, but her life was threatened. Scary stuff.

Earth Muffin said...

There is, of course, no need for you to apologize to us about the need to keep the specifics of her leaving private. I'm just glad to hear she's home safe with you.

the only daughter said...

Glad she is home, safe.

Alice in NZ said...

I remember reading something by Desmond Morris that really stuck with me - it seemed such a a terrible thing - it went something like, "First India will break your heart and then, which is worse, it will harden it."

Obviously India didn't harden Bing's heart. I think that is a great testament to the heart in question. I am so glad she is home safe with you.

kristi said...

((Bing)) ((Maria))

jess said...

Phew. That was scary even in retrospect.