Maria: (glancing up from the computer screen where she has just been reading up on what's new with Lee DeWyze) Oh, my hell. Bing! GUESS who is doing a gig in Branson, Missouri at the Moon River Theater this summer?
Bing is immediately leery. It is rare that she and Maria agree on music. She is very, very worried that this might have something to do with Lee DeWyze.
Bing: Um? Let's see....Yo Yo Ma? Bruno Mars? Karrin Allyson? Elvis Costello?
Maria rolls her eyes.
M: No, silly. LEE DEWYZE! He is doing a gig from mid May to mid June! Do I smell a family jaunt?
B: Uh. No. That is the ripe smell of distress. Honey...just no. I cannot STAND Lee DeWyze, you know that. He is an overrated coffee house singer. For godsakes, he proposed to his fiancee at DISNEY WORLD. I can't believe you aren't snickering.
Maria winces. Because okay....she DID snicker. It was unkind and not very nice to Lee and it bothered her, but god...DISNEY WORLD?
M: We could drive down. It's only a seven hour drive. There are um Chinese acrobats too. You and Liv would love that...
B: Honey, I can't drive long distances with my back anymore and you hate driving....and please, I just don't think I can stand it if he sings that dippy ass Sweet Serendipity. I DETEST that song and admit, so do you.
M: Okay. It was ONE bad song. Every artist is allowed one shitty cd and he had his. I bet he sings lots of his new shit in Branson. And....we could take turns driving!
B No. I can't...I WON'T subject our daughter to that drivel. And I can't see driving in pain for SEVEN hours to see someone that I dislike sing for two more hours. Please, honey...NO.
Maria debates pouting. It has worked before. No. She's right. The whole trip would be a disaster and Bing would be crabby all the way there and back. Too bad that Yo Yo Ma isn't in Branson too.
This marriage shit isn't for pansies.
Picks up the phone. It rings and her sister, Patrice picks up.
"Hi, sis....hey...GUESS who is coming to Branson this summer?"