I miss Bing. Actually, what I should say is that I miss Bing well.
I miss her being healthy. Because she ALWAYS is. Healthy.
Around Christmas, she said that her back was aching a little bit. So, since she is very health conscious, she cut back on her work out routine, stopped running and walked instead. It seemed to help.
Until Valentine's Day. Then she told me that she was having a lot of pain in her...um...right butt cheek. Pain that radiated down her leg and into the inside of her ankle. It wasn't too bad when she walked, but she couldn't sit down for more than a few moments without intense pain and could only lay down for a few hours at a time before the pain woke her up.
I suggested that she see an internist. She balked. Not her. No sirree bob. No drugs. Not even an aspirin.
This lasted for about two weeks. Two weeks where she slept in the guest room so as not to wake me when she had to get up every two hours to pace away the pain. I woke up anyway. Mother's sleep. Before I had Liv, I slept like I was dead. After Liv, I woke up if a squirrel sneezed in the back yard. I would hear Bing's tread walking around downstairs. Sometimes, I got up to check on her. I quickly discovered that this upset her, she didn't want to wake me...so I started staying put. Awake. But staying put.
We stopped all our usual activities together because she just wasn't up to them. She stopped walking the dog with me, she was fine for a few blocks but then the pain would set in. She and I tried to go to a movie. She ended up standing at the side of the theater. It hurt too much to sit. She could barely drive herself to work every day, so I drove everywhere on the weekends. Not that we went anywhere. She would stand up, leaning against a counter and read. She did our taxes standing up in the dining room while I sat and did the paperwork. Since she was sleep deprived, she took to laying flat on the living room floor. I would put the green wool blanket that she liked over her and a space heater running close by. She could sleep for an hour or two, with the television on.
She started getting black rings under her eyes.
She finally consented to see a doctor. He did blood tests and gave her a MRI. It didn't show much, mostly that two of her spinal discs had compressed. When she brought her ex ray copy home, we compared it to one I had done several years ago. I had four discs compressed to her two. She said she felt like a light weight. I told her that pain is funny. A lot of people go well into old age without even knowing they have a back problem. Some feel pain from the first slip of a disc. Bodies are funny.
So, she let the doctor give her a shot of cortisone in her back. When I had that done several years ago, it helped immensely. It's been 4 days and so far, she feels no relief. But, she says she is sleeping better. And I think she is. I no longer wake up every two hours and hear her pacing. Now it is every four, sometimes five. The rings around her eyes are lessening.
I told her that sometimes those pain shots take a while to work, up to two weeks. She is hopeful.
Her doctor isn't giving her much in the way of pain meds. This annoys the hell out of me, although, truthfully, I think that Bing wasn't honest with him about how much pain that she is experiencing. She is ever stoic, rarely complains. When he asked her about pain, she probably said what she told me: It hurts some. But, it's not horrible. I'm dealing.
This said as she bites her lip hard every time she tries to get up from a chair.
If she were a sedentary person, this would not get to me so much. But, my Bing leaps up steps two at a time, she runs every morning with the dog (and Socks is missing her sooooo much), sprints up ladders and cleans out gutters licketty split and has enough energy for us both on days when I'm dragging.
Our roles have switched, although I am not all that energetic or capable. With my rheumatoid arthritis, I am seldom nimble. I detest going up steps, my knees ache at the top. I have enough pain that I have medication on hand at all times for flare ups.
We are both learning lessons, we admit. We talked last night (and I can't tell you how badly I miss our nights talking, in bed, in each other's arms) for a short while. I sat at the kitchen table, she leaned against me, arm around my shoulder. She said, "I have to say that this pain is instructive. I will never, ever be able to look at you and think to myself that for god sakes, why doesn't she just take a long walk and shake off that pain?"
I looked up at her. "Did you often think that? That I wasn't trying hard enough?"
She blushed, looked away for a moment and then, slowly...nodded.
I sighed.
"But now, I get it," she says. "Pain has a way of just...beating you down. I'm so tired all the time and I just want my life back, you know? I just want to be able to do all the things I used to do without thinking about them. I want to go for a bike ride, run with Socks in the morning, run upstairs and get your shawl when I see you shivering, get the garden ready for you to plant in a couple months. Sleep. God, I miss sleeping for eight hours and waking up feeling like I'm rarin' to go, you know?"
I nodded. Yes. I understood perfectly.
I told her, "You know, I've learned too. I've learned how hard it is to watch someone you love suffer. I hear you wandering at night. I see your face looking so tired, I see you laying on the floor, almost helpless with pain and it KILLS me. I want to help you so badly!"
She smiled. "That's exactly how I feel about you," she said. "When you first had trouble with your back and joints, I used to just ache for the old Maria. I've had to adapt to this version of you. But, you know...you're still in there. You just aren't as...mobile."
We both smiled then and held each other for a while. Said some lovey dovey talk that you don't need to know. Re-connected. Because, this isn't going to take us down. It's minor. But, it is something that we have to endure.
Bing will either get better or she will learn to deal with this new way of living. I will step up to the plate and be the caregiver instead of the one who gets tended to.
It's new for both of us, but we aren't licked.
Still...we miss so much.
And, Bing is absolutely right. Pain, in all versions, is instructive.
So, my question to you is this: Do you have a bad back story? I've come to believe that everyone either has one or knows someone who does? And if not a back story, a health one? How did you deal with it? Did you surprise yourself? Is there a happy ending or did you end up like I did? Just learning to live with what you can't change?
27 comments:
When I was prego with my son, my hubby had a tumor removed from his leg. Shortly afterwards he started having back problems. He has had herniated disks and several minor surgeries and procedures. One of his disks burst or something like that and he was in Baylor hospital in Dallas for a few days.
It has changed our life in many ways. I didn't realize how much pain affected him til' he broke down crying one day. He is very very strong and I admire him so much. Because I probably would have lost my damn mind by now. I hardly can handle a headache. I can't really get "on top" much because I am afraid it will hurt him but we manage to find other ways to make it work. :)
At some point in my second trimester, while I was carrying my son, I started to get serious hip pain. The pain got so bad I had a really hard time getting out of booths at restaurants and getting in and out of cars. After having him, the pain got a little better.
When he was three we took him to disney world for spring break. It was a trip we had planned for months and I was very excited to see him there. You know the whole, live vicariously through your child sort of thing. Well about three days into it we were walking around the boardwalk when I felt that oh familiar pain in my hip, the pain got worse and worse until I was unable to keep walking and had to sit on a bench. The week was misserable for my after that. I couldn't walk without pain, I kept the rest back, slowed them all down, and felt misserable for doing it and for having the pain.
When we returned home I made a chiropractor's appointment, which I had never done before in my life but I was desperate!
After a couple of sessions the pain got better and I started to take less and less pain meds to get by.
A few months ago the pain came back, and it hit me like a sledge hammer. Man, I was out of commission. Then I discovered if I layed flat on my back, with my hands over my head, on a flat surface, the pain got better and my hip went back into place. There is nothing like the feeling of relief.
So far I have been lucky, not having any pain like that in months, but I know how you both feel. It is so difficult to watch, and even more difficult to live with knowing that you can't do the things you want to do, or wish to do, because of pain.
I do hope Bing finds relief soon, and that the shot worked for her. I know how you both must feel!
Doesn't it suck sometimes to get older, but hey it's better than the alternative isn't it!
This post really resonated with me, because I used about my mother much as Bing did about you. My mom had RA and I often wondered why she didn't push harder, why she didn't walk more when the doctor told her too, etc. Now, at this stage in my life I understand so well how intrusive pain is, especially chronic pain like she dealt with, how it changes your life entirely. My heart is much closer to hers now, I hope she knows that.
You two will figure it out. I hope her pain subsides!
I do have a bad back - ish. Most of the time it is okay, but every now and then - YOWZA. I have no idea what's wrong with it because I haven't been to a doctor or had x-rays or anything, but clearly, something is wrong with it. Most of the time I just deal with it and soldier on. Occasionally I take a pain pill, and sometimes I lay in bed, frozen in a position and on pain pills. (That last part is rare, though.) I still take steps two at a time and get things done, though. Sometimes, it's just that I do it in some amount of pain. :)
Back pain has been a part of my life since I was in grade school. I have fairly severe scoliosis, with both types of curve ("S" curve and swayback) I actually wore a full-body brace from the end of 8th grade until about mid-freshman year, when my vanity got the best of me and I stopped wearing it. My parents should have BEAT MY ASS!! I was supposed to wear it 23 hours a day, only taking it off to shower. I just couldn't deal with it anymore. Being a freshman is excruciating enough, then add freakshow to the mix?! But, like I said, I wish my parents had been tougher.
My back has gotten progressively worse over the years. The fact that I am morbidly obese obviously doesn't help the problem. I've just become accustomed to living with pain. It's now my "normal." There are definitely days that are worse, and thankfully, days that are better, but the pain is ALWAYS there.
I hope Bing finds some relief soon.
Our bad back story is very minor compared to yours, but we do have one. Mr. EM is an elementary school janitor. Part of his daily job is to put up the cafeteria tables to clean the floor, twice daily after breakfast and lunch. Then he has to pull them back down to be ready for the next meal. He's had this job for 12 years. Every single year, without fail, at some point he would hurt his back taking care of those tables. It would always be some kind of minor thing...he'd be pushing a table up against the wall and someone would call his name, he's turn to see who it was and wrench his back out of place. Or he would simply have his feet positioned funny and would hurt it that way. Whatever the cause, it would put him out of commission for about a week every time. He too is very reluctant to seek medical help and, in spite of all the chemical partying he did in his younger days, is also reluctant to use any kind of painkiller to help him deal with it. He tried using one of those lift-belt things and that was somewhat helpful, but it still kept happening. When it started happening more than once each school year (this was about 3 years ago), I suggested he see a chiropractor. At first he resisted, but then it happened AGAIN, about a month after the previous time. After he called in sick, I wrote down a list of chiropractors in our area that friends had recommended and told him that he would have an appointment with one of them by the time I got home from work that day. He must have been in some pain that day because he emailed me at work later that morning with his appointment date and time. Since he started seeing the chiropractor/accupuncturist we call Dr. Rock Star, he's never thrown his back out again. He gets regular adjustments, about every 6 weeks, and has accupuncture done at least 4 times a year. Not only is his back better, but his overall health is too. I cannot remember the last time he got sick in any way, aside from the "sniffles" in the spring from minor seasonal allergies.
I hope Bing can find some relief soon.
Back spasms, bulging disc, much pain. Debilitating constant pain. MD gave me muscle relaxants that did nothing for me. I resisted pain meds thinking I could tough it out. Chiropractic manipulation gave me small episodes of relief. My chiropractor finally convinced me to take something to help my body relax and heal itself. She explained that I was not allowing my body to get the rest it needed. I never needed heavy duty pain meds just an anti-inflammatory. It gave me enough relief so I could fall asleep for at least 6 hours. Meds plus sleep combined with hot/cold therapy and chiropractic manipulation literally got me back on my feet and functioning again. I'm good now and now know it's not a sign of weakness to concede to the need of medicine.
Jeanmarie
I have sciatica. I had severe lumbar-sciatic pain. A legacy of a back injury from nursing and heavy lifting. I could not sit for 5 minutes without unbearable pain and had to stand and stretch all the time, Even in meetings and seminars. Luckily, I s'pose, I was a supervisory nurse and did little direct care anymore. My boss, however, a very direct and forthright Director of Nursing had enuff and one day pulled out the contact details for a top neurosurgeon and said "For God's Sake! Go and see Ray!" I did. He arranged all the MRI's etc and when I came back to see me he said I had two severe prolapsed discs at L4/5 and L5/6 and he went through the options with me. I decided on surgery. I was married, had a new home, a new wife and a new baby daughter - it was a big decision. If it went wrong I would be a 'back cripple' forever. I had enuff sick leave and we had enuff insurance and we were well known in the health professional arena. I had the discectomy done in a private hospital and got first class care all the way. In hospital 10 days. Rehab took nearly six months - 3 months before I could drive a car again (Two weeks before I could climb the five steps at the front of the house).
It worked! Over a period of time - perhaps 12 months - I made a full recovery and went back to work. that was in 1985.
I believe they've come a long way with surgical interventions since then - all this micro-surgery stuff.
I had one relapse in the mid 1990's and now in my early seventies I am again getting left sided sciatica. Had an MRI and there is complete Osteo-arthritic changes in the lumbar and sciatic vertebrae. The Neuro-surgeon reckons I'm not a candidate for further surgery and put me on analgesics, told me to change my life-style, lose weight and learn to live with it.
Its one reason why I am on my current diet as my weight had crept up and the pain was getting worse.
Anyhow, that's my story!
Thats so sad! But lovely that you talked about it, together, properly. My dad has a bad back and not really anything can be done. So i know all about waking up and hearing people pace, and hearing people you lovein pain. And my friend has a slipped disc and is in lots of pain right now too, but shes very brave and keeps refusing to let me do anything for her. How do you make people let you help them?? I hope bing feels better soon. Also, i have a question: are the mean girls at Livs school still being so bitchy?
I had a hip problem that hurt, ached, pulled me down for nearly 15 years. I never really had it looked at because I knew it was joint/alignment related and I was either going to be given shots, oral pain meds, sent for scans I couldn't afford, etc. Chiro helped, massage helped, but it was always there.
Then.
I found Grace.
She was a massage therapist, new in town, recommended by a friend also fighting hip pain (she later found she needed a replacement).
I went to Grace for my first massage and she did some kind of applied kinesiology on me that no massage person had ever done. Very interesting assessment of my body, etc. Then I turned on my stomach and she started the massage. And did...something. I have no idea what she pushed, touched or adjusted. I just know my body suddenly went into the right place for my hip. She said that she had never had a body respond quite that quickly. When I got up, I really felt like a different person.
My hip pain was gone. Just...gone.
I saw Grace perhaps three more times and then she moved back to the small town in southern CO where she came here from. My hip still doesn't hurt, but if it ever does again, I'll find Grace and ask her to work her magic. If i had to drive across the country to see her it would not be too far.
GG
Maria, Google ALIF which is anterior lumbar interbody fusion. I had the operation done in 2006 after two previously unsuccessful spinal surgeries. It changed my life from one just like Bing is now experiencing to one where I can do just about anything I want to. Yes I still have pain if I overdo things but my pain is under control and nothing like the excruciating and defeating pain that Bing has now. Her back won't recover by itself from this much damage. Without intense pain meds her life will continue to be a misery.
The incision is made on the left hand side of the abdomen, bone is harvested from deep within the hip, pulverised and placed in a titanium cylinder. The damaged disc(s) is removed and the cylinder put in it's place. Over about two years the bone grows through the cylinder and fuses with the adjoining discs, thus stabilizing the joint. I was up and walking after one day; I left hospital on the second day. For the first three months I rotated lying down and standing up. Now, five and a half years on, I have pain if I overdo things but I can snow ski and do most things. Bing needs to make a commitment to her long term health and to you by taking the time out to get well. This surgery has been performed by doctors in the US for years. It is not experimental, it is tried and tested and it works.
Please give Bing a big hug from me and tell her how incredibly brave but stupid she is for putting up with the pain.
Much love to you my dearest friend.
Mme B.
Poor Bing! Poor you! My Mom had a pretty severe bout of sciatica a few months ago, and I've never heard her sound like she was in so much pain. And my poor Dad....he actually quit his volunteer job for Habitat for Humanity (which he loved) to stay home and take care of her. It was a hard time for both of them.
It is so hard to see your spouse in pain, and I am sending you both positive vibes.
One thought? Might Bing consider seeing a chiropractor? Sometimes they can work wonders.
I hope Bing feels better soon. I've had herniated disks which left me crawling on all fours, plus constant fibromyalgia, bursitis, tendonitis and osteoarthritis. Pain is horrid and inconvenient, but even worse is watching Flip struggle with Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and amazingly incompetent caregiving.
I believe Bing will get better but will probably have periodic flare-ups of sciatica or whatever it is, hopefully not very often. Good luck to you both.
Yup, I got arthritis all up and down my spine, along with two discs that are "bad" L4/L5 and the pain is right over my right cheek/hip. Along with chronic migraines, fibromyalgia....it's not fun at my house. I also have carpal tunnel that hopefully, will soon be fixed. But arthritis is in the hands and other joints too. Mine is osteo, not RA. I have it bad in both my hands, and have no strength in them. So for me to cut things, write, do my hair, just simple tasks of daily living can be a problem. I can't walk more than 15 minutes without extreme pain. I have a wonderful spouse who just caters to me when I don't feel good. He is the best. I tell him he should of been a nurse, but he can't stand the sight of bodily fluids!!! Lol
I'm so sorry for Bing. I do hope things work for her. I have had injections. Mine were the anesthetics with steroids. They lasted 6 months at a time. I had to go to a special pain clinic for them administered by an anesthesiologist. But they did work for a time. Keep us posted.
well maria, i surely send my biggest but GENTLE hug to bing, i hope it heals faster than she can even say honeysucklechuckletits... ;)
i have arthritis, fibro, and 2 bulgey discs that a few years ago i had to have 2 epidurals to relieve the pain. they shot my back up with cortisone, and a mixture of some other drugs with it. i had versed so i was out and didnt feel a thing. that may be an opton for bing rather than surgery. they each lasted about a year, it was awesome. i am in pain as well on a daily basis. it takes me a good hour to be able to walk without flinching and whining. I have to take my meds as soon as i get up. i have chronic sciatica and it radiates down my right hip to just below my knee. i cant even stand or sit when it's flared up, and it seems to be flared up ALL the frikkin time these days. i can really feel for the both of you, i have to alternate icing it and putting the heating pad on it. i have even slept with the heating pad on all night. bless bings hurting little buttock...
aw crap :/ I hope Bing gets better soon.
We don't have back issues, Finn and I, but she has endometriosis so when she has her period she's out for the count. Sure, sometimes I get these moments of "can't she just push it aside, damnit" but then I am not IN her pain so I can't know. Generally, she deals badly with ongoing pain while I'm worse with sharp pain. For a while my IBS was so severe I honestly didn't even notice I was in pain anymore. You know, that kind of ongoing pain that you only notice when it's finally gone? Tiring.
I think quite generally you can't know another person's pain until you're in it. And even then everyone feels different pains differently. I didn't get her depression until I was knee-deep in depression myself. Yes, you might get impatient and you can't exactly be blamed for that. What you can do is try to be respectful about it and know that you don't know.
I'm still living with my pain issues, some days I'm not sure how I do it. I guess you just keep going, adapt and change. I'm bad at taking pain meds too. My nurse told me one day that you have to keep topped up because there's no point in letting the pain get on top of you. So I take panadol when I remember, rather than having to take morphine when it gets too much!
A poignant post.
Sounds like good lessons for both of you but a shitty way to learn. I would encourage Bing to press on for a definitive answer so she can fix or at least best figure out how to manage through her latest chapter. I for one am glad you two have each other. :)
I'm not very accepting of my health issues. I have two autoimmune diseases. I know that I get sick easily, that I get infections quickly, that it all takes longer to heal. And yet, I'm still surprised every time I get a cold that drags me down (or worse, lately, there's been a lot of that). I have this... to use a Matrix term, residual self image of myself where I'm a fairly healthy person. And it's so weird, because I've never been healthy. I was an unhealthy baby (my parents say you could set the clock by when I'd get ill again - every 3 weeks) and at age 12 I got obese, for reasons we've only started understanding in 2008. So yah, I don't know why I'm surprised every frickin' time I get ill. But, being this unhealthy and struggling so much to see my way to getting better has definitely taught me a lot of things. Like, simply, how precious health is. I actually get really annoyed with people who complain about everything when they have their health, a job and a love life. I know we all have burdens, but come on! It's also taught me you can't do everything alone. But that's a lesson I'm still learning. I'm not good at accepting outside help. In December, when I had pneumonia and then cut my foot (3 stitches), it was so hard for me to see my best friend clean the blood off my floors and run my errands for me. I felt so rotten, even though I knew I couldn't have done any of it myself!
Anyway, I hope Bing gets better. Not just so you can catch a break, but so she can go back to all those things she enjoys. Being in pain, being ill, it just sucks. A lot. Sending lots of happy, healing thoughts to you two!
Probably one of the lessons Bing's learning is that there is nothing heroic, noble, virtuous or even healthy about not seeing a doctor and taking medicine when the body needs it. Just what was she trying to prove? As her spouse, that must be so frustrating.
Aside from some sciatica during pregnancy, which was awful, I have thus far been relatively lucky with my back. I did hurt it badly lifting my large, elderly, drunk neighbor off my front lawn, which I shouldn't have done. Muscle relaxers and a short course of steroids took care of it. I was very lucky.
Wishing you both swift relief and a return to all the things you miss!
My own sciatica came back AGAIN this past Friday. Not sure why. I went kayaking with my cousin... I think it was a combo of my body position (pressure on hip in that hard seat) and talking about stuff with my cousin. She is TCM doc (trad Chin med) and said the channel sciatica runs on is the gallbladder channel... relates to decision making. That is definitely an issue for me right now. Anyway, I was in total agony on Friday night and read your post yesterday when I was hurting again. In general, I need to do my yoga stretches every damn day and if I am driving, stop and walk if it is more than a two hour stretch. I also have mild scoliosis and I'm starting to wonder if this has something to do with things.
About pain: I wonder if we become inured to some kinds. I am very stoic about some kinds of pain, less so with others.
And the whole thing of being used to being the powerful one... yeah, I know that one. I was like Bing in that way until my 40s hit and I started getting joint stuff. I am waaaayyy stronger than the average woman. Just naturally very strong and have a lot of stamina. But midlife kicked my ass in the joint area.
I definitely think there are many things/situations in life where we really don't know till we walk in that person's shoes. We may think we know but we don't. And especially if we have some judgement kicking around... we can be sure we don't know.
Definitely sounds like hard times for both of you. Wish I had a magic suggestion to offer Bing since I suffer the same ailment... but i don't... i just do my yoga stretches (pigeon pose), try to avoid hard chairs, take hot baths, walk gently, etc.
Oh! And i just remembered: I pretty much wear ONLY "fit flops." It's a certain brand of shoe. I just wear those - the clogs, the thongs... and the kind of tennis shoe I wear is similar. When I had super bad sciatica two years ago, I tried fitflops and they really helped. MIght be worth the investment. YOu an google arouind for best price. Figure about sixty or seventy a pair.
Take care - both of you.
ZC
My own sciatica came back AGAIN this past Friday. Not sure why. I went kayaking with my cousin... I think it was a combo of my body position (pressure on hip in that hard seat) and talking about stuff with my cousin. She is TCM doc (trad Chin med) and said the channel sciatica runs on is the gallbladder channel... relates to decision making. That is definitely an issue for me right now. Anyway, I was in total agony on Friday night and read your post yesterday when I was hurting again. In general, I need to do my yoga stretches every damn day and if I am driving, stop and walk if it is more than a two hour stretch. I also have mild scoliosis and I'm starting to wonder if this has something to do with things.
About pain: I wonder if we become inured to some kinds. I am very stoic about some kinds of pain, less so with others.
And the whole thing of being used to being the powerful one... yeah, I know that one. I was like Bing in that way until my 40s hit and I started getting joint stuff. I am waaaayyy stronger than the average woman. Just naturally very strong and have a lot of stamina. But midlife kicked my ass in the joint area.
I definitely think there are many things/situations in life where we really don't know till we walk in that person's shoes. We may think we know but we don't. And especially if we have some judgement kicking around... we can be sure we don't know.
Definitely sounds like hard times for both of you. Wish I had a magic suggestion to offer Bing since I suffer the same ailment... but i don't... i just do my yoga stretches (pigeon pose), try to avoid hard chairs, take hot baths, walk gently, etc.
Oh! And i just remembered: I pretty much wear ONLY "fit flops." It's a certain brand of shoe. I just wear those - the clogs, the thongs... and the kind of tennis shoe I wear is similar. When I had super bad sciatica two years ago, I tried fitflops and they really helped. MIght be worth the investment. YOu an google arouind for best price. Figure about sixty or seventy a pair.
Take care - both of you.
ZC
For about 12 years I had a disk that would slip at the most inconvenient times and leave me in pain, barely able to move or sit, for days.
The most humiliating thing I can remember from this is clinging to a gate post in the neighborhood on my way to the grocery store (I was living alone and out of everything, trying desperately to stay on my feet. Elderly ladies walked by talking loudly among themselves about people getting stinkingly drunk in the middle of the day. I was in to much pain to tell them that I was totally sober, but would be willing to kill for any kind of pain relief.
I always tried to keep my core muscles strong to help avoid problems, but the inflammation never totally subsided, so it was always slightly uncomfortable. Then, about 5 years ago, the inflammation subsided, and it has been great ever since. I guess I'm lucky as it seems like I can have a relatively pain free life as long as I keep those core muscles strong. My doctor still warns me though, not to take it for granted.
I hope Bing gets better soon. Pain is such a.....well, pain.
Oh .. yes. I slipped a disk back in 2008. The first week was hell, it hurt to breathe, I was stranded in my bed unable even to lift an arm. Who knew how much we used back muscles!? I learned to live with it, and had the pain in the but cheek and the shooting pains down my leg. My pain was most present when standing still, which meant no waiting for buses, no queuing in shops without the aid of a little dance. The problem with a slipped disk, is that the slippage impinges on the nerves, hence the unlocalised pains. There is a little horror story here about how I was treated and misdiagnosed by my doctor, but that is irrelevant. I was 9 months on the waiting list to have it sorted (UK health system!) at which point they were going to choose between an operation and an epidural (which reduced inflamation of the nerves) however it slowly got better over the months. Over the years since, i've had the odd reminder that it's still not fixed, just a little twinge that says "Don't forget me, i'm coming back to get you one day!" This year, it's back .. not too badly, and only when I'm at work, but sitting in work is horrendously uncomfortable, my leg feels broken - I have occ. health coming to assess my workstation this week.
Best to Bing xx
My husband has severe back and joint pain. The doctors have told him that he's not a candidate for surgery because they don't know where they'd begin. He's very active and has always been as strong as a bull, so wasn't as careful with his back as he should have been. Invincible, and all that.
He's addicted to oxycontin and wears a fentynal patch, too. He's doubled up on doses twice in the last two years and ran out. Withdrawal is an ugly, ugly thing. He also won't allow me to be a part of his treatment at all, or look into other pain management options.
I told him the 2nd time, in the heat of a fight, that I would leave him if it happened again. I don't think he believed me, but I believe me. It will take that much, if it's even enough, to get him to....I don't even know what he needs to do.
He says he'd rather be dead than be in pain. The worst part? He's still in pain. He still winces when he gets up and has aches and pains. How can that be? What good is the medication if he still is hobbled like an old man?
It's changed everything for me, as it has for him.
I blame evolution. We are still adapting to this upright posture and it hurts! Backs and shoulders, especially.
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