The title of the piece was A Year Of Living LARGE!!!!! 12 New Year's Eve Resolutions!!
1) Place celery and carrot chunks in brown paper cups in a Russell Stover's candy box. Refrigerate. Snacking will feel like cheating!!!!
Well, fuck me. You are such an asshat. Come here, wanna be-writer-of-this-slop. I would like to knock your teeth out. Because...are you THAT stupid? Do you REALLY think this would work. What sort of fantasy world do YOU live in, dumb ass?
2) On February 1st, have a florist send yourself one perfect rose with this message: "Thanks. It was wonderful!" Smile and shrug when your Beloved asks who sent it. Watch your Valentine's Day haul increase exponentially.
Wow. Getting attention through lying and manipulation. Who'da thunk it?
That's it. Not reading one more word of this drivel. But, I will copy down that recipe for tomato basil soup, thank you.
I paged through to the circulation information.
Fuck me twice.
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