Another of Bing's FAVORITE kinds of conversations....
We were watching CNN. Bing is very interested in what's happening in North Korea over Kim Jong II's death. I was reading my book. A question occurred to me. I asked it.
"If we had just met, would you date me?"
Sigh from Bing. She looked over reluctantly.
"Honey, you're my partner. I already date you pretty seriously."
"No!" I reiterated. "I mean, suppose you just met me now, like at a party or something, would you want to ask me out? When you first met me, I was 18 and much, much hotter..."
Bing senses a trick question. She takes the easy way out.
"You're still hot, sweetie...now can I please watch this?"
I refuse to drop it because it is one of my major flaws.
"C'mon, don't be a chicken butt....WOULD YOU WANT TO ASK ME OUT IF YOU JUST MET ME?"
Bing looks over at me.
"Well, yeah...I suppose so."
Okay, what I needed her to say was "OF COURSE! I WOULD HIGHTAIL IT TO YOUR SIDE THE SECOND I LAID EYES ON YOU!"
So, I sort of pouted. "You SUPPOSE so?"
Bing smiled. "Do you put out? Because, hey...I'm 52 and if I'm not with you, I haven't had really phenomenal sex for a while. I am probably really, really horny. So...let's see? Are you wearing something sexy? Do you look like you'll put out?"
I rolled my eyes.
"Of course not. I'm not loose that way. Well, not THAT loose. So, huh...no deal, huh? You'd ask that floozy in the low cut sweater out but not me, right?"
Bing's turn to roll her eyes.
"No, I'd ask you out because I know you will be a world of trouble. You'll interrupt my television programs to ask me asinine questions and then either get mad at me for not answering properly or too slowly. Maria. I love you. I'm with you now. Can't we just be done with this already?"
I nodded and went back to my book.
A few moments later, she came leaping into my lap and interrupted a really good part.
"I MUST HAVE YOU NOW!" she exclaimed. "YOU ARE JUST SITTING THERE LOOKING SO TASTY. MARIA, WILL YOU PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASSSSSEEEEEEE, DATE ME?"
"Honey, I'm trying to read here..."
And, then, of course....I laughed.
She's stuck with me. God help her.