Tuesday, December 20, 2011

"Would you date me?"

Another of Bing's FAVORITE kinds of conversations....

We were watching CNN. Bing is very interested in what's happening in North Korea over Kim Jong II's death. I was reading my book. A question occurred to me. I asked it.

"If we had just met, would you date me?"

Sigh from Bing. She looked over reluctantly.

"Honey, you're my partner. I already date you pretty seriously."

"No!" I reiterated. "I mean, suppose you just met me now, like at a party or something, would you want to ask me out? When you first met me, I was 18 and much, much hotter..."

Bing senses a trick question. She takes the easy way out.

"You're still hot, sweetie...now can I please watch this?"

I refuse to drop it because it is one of my major flaws.

"C'mon, don't be a chicken butt....WOULD YOU WANT TO ASK ME OUT IF YOU JUST MET ME?"

Bing looks over at me.

"Well, yeah...I suppose so."

Okay, what I needed her to say was "OF COURSE! I WOULD HIGHTAIL IT TO YOUR SIDE THE SECOND I LAID EYES ON YOU!"

So, I sort of pouted. "You SUPPOSE so?"

Bing smiled. "Do you put out? Because, hey...I'm 52 and if I'm not with you, I haven't had really phenomenal sex for a while. I am probably really, really horny. So...let's see? Are you wearing something sexy? Do you look like you'll put out?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Of course not. I'm not loose that way. Well, not THAT loose. So, huh...no deal, huh? You'd ask that floozy in the low cut sweater out but not me, right?"

Bing's turn to roll her eyes.

"No, I'd ask you out because I know you will be a world of trouble. You'll interrupt my television programs to ask me asinine questions and then either get mad at me for not answering properly or too slowly. Maria. I love you. I'm with you now. Can't we just be done with this already?"

I nodded and went back to my book.

A few moments later, she came leaping into my lap and interrupted a really good part.

"I MUST HAVE YOU NOW!" she exclaimed. "YOU ARE JUST SITTING THERE LOOKING SO TASTY. MARIA, WILL YOU PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASSSSSEEEEEEE, DATE ME?"

I blinked.

"Honey, I'm trying to read here..."

And, then, of course....I laughed.

She's stuck with me. God help her.

8 comments:

Kass said...

O Maria, Maria. How do you solve a problem like Maria?

Lovely, quirky and sweet this is.

Mitch Block said...

Oh, I love Bing! (And you're not bad yourself!)

sybil law said...

It's a match made in Heaven. :)

e said...

You two deserve each other... and I mean that in the best possible way!

lyon de clarasvals said...

Sometimes I think you should smack her over the head with something. He's dead, will likely remain so and plans have been in place for years by his people, our people and many other people.
You are alive and right there next to her. Does she really need to be reminded how lucky she is?

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Thank you for a wonderful laugh, much needed! I think there is much to be said for being a world of trouble to ones partner.

Vinita said...

Heyyy, I missed out on trying this on my hubby last night...will let u know if i get another gem of an answer. How's christmas prep coming along?

John Gray said...

maria
if I dont get the chance
just wanted to know I want you to have a lovely christmas xxx