Liv is a sleepwalker. She started this about a year ago. I didn't get all worried about it, because her father is a sleepwalker as well and I know that it can be genetic.
But, it IS disquieting to be snoozing away and then slowly come awake to see your child standing silently (or not) by your bed and staring at you.
Liv rarely goes downstairs. And if she does, Socks alerts me. He literally jumps on our bed (and he is a short dog, this means he has to take quite a flying leap or he just keeps running at the bed until I wake up...)and pushes at me with his nose to get me up.
I usually find her riffling through our linen closet or sitting on the guest room bed. Once, she was sitting on the guest room bed and watching television with glassy, unseeing eyes. She sometimes speaks, but not often.
I just gently guide her back to bed. Tuck her in, kiss her forehead. She almost always says goodnight to me.
She NEVER has recall of any of it in the morning. Ever.
Once, I found her in the bathroom, looking sightlessly at herself in the mirror and seemingly talking to someone. She said mostly nonsense but what I could make out of it was something about "god is in the details."
She never nudges Bing awake. It is always me. And she doesn't often nudge, she usually just stands staring down at me.
And you're right if you think that is sort of freaky. It still jolts me every time it happens. And every single time, I say, "Honey? What's up? You okay?" and she doesn't answer.
She's never sleepwalked when she spent the night at a friend's house. I think she doesn't go into a deep enough sleep. Sleepwalkers are usually in a deep, deep sleep.
Once she was methodically picking up her hairbrush, brushing her bangs. Another time she was brushing the side of the sink with MY toothbrush, as if she were diligently working on a stain.
As I said, she rarely speaks.
But, a few nights ago, she did.
I woke up with a start to find her pushing at me with her hand. She kept saying my name in this monotonic voice. I had been deeply asleep myself, dreaming about being angry at Bing for not going to some football game with me and when I came awake, I was groggy.
"What's up, honey? Are you sick?"
No answer.
I sighed. Realized that she was sleepwalking again. Carefully got up and started to guide her back to bed. And then she said the weirdest thing.
"Mama, I need to tell you something from Grandpa Jack."
My Da. She has heard plenty of stories about her Grandpa Jack.
Very carefully, I said to go on.
Silence.
Ugh.
I tried again. "Honey, what about Grandpa Jack?"
Nothing.
I sighed and guided her back to bed, Socks protectively at our feet. I tucked her in, kissed her cheek.
"Honey, do you remember what you wanted to tell me from Grandpa Jack?"
"G'night."
That was it. All she said. All she wrote.
I went back to bed frustrated, wishing that I knew a way to get in there and dig around in her head, find THAT conversation.
But, maybe...I thought...in retrospect....maybe it was just meant for her. Maybe he came to say hello.
I love the thought of her getting to experience the joy of knowing my Da in any way, shape or form.
And I will probably never know what he wanted to tell me.
And of course, at breakfast, she had no recollection of saying that at all.
So, I've been experimenting. Every night before sleep, I ask Da to come to me for a little visit.
Maybe he's come, maybe not. I haven't been remembering my dreams and the ones I do are all work related.
It comforts me to think of him coming to her in deep sleep, being the grandfather that she has not had the pleasure of meeting.
Any one you know sleep walk?
15 comments:
I used to babysit for my friend's sons, and the oldest was a sleepwalker. It is, indeed, very freaky. He and his brother had bunk beds, and he slept on the top. How he never fell out and hurt himself, I'll never know. It wasn't always easy, either, to guide him back up that little ladder and put him back to bed.
I sleptwalked until my early thirties. It was disconcerting for others and myself. I would wake up and ask why I was in the living room. My mom and housemates would tell me I was talking but not making sense. Sometimes this sleepwalking was part of I called my spider dreams. Nightmares involving spiders. Finally, at thirty four, I had a lucid spider dream and have none since and no more sleepwalking that I am awre of. My mom said my sleepwalking was most often after spending the weekend at my dad's and not having any transition time at my mom"s before going to bed. Her dad sleptwalked also. I don't think I know anyone who does or has sleptwalked. I never met my mom's dad. My boyfriend used to talk in his sleep a lot. I have done that also. I do sort of recognize a certain... profile in sleepwalkers and talkers but can't quite put my finger on it. Just an intuitive sense.
Zc
I sleptwalked until my early thirties. It was disconcerting for others and myself. I would wake up and ask why I was in the living room. My mom and housemates would tell me I was talking but not making sense. Sometimes this sleepwalking was part of I called my spider dreams. Nightmares involving spiders. Finally, at thirty four, I had a lucid spider dream and have none since and no more sleepwalking that I am awre of. My mom said my sleepwalking was most often after spending the weekend at my dad's and not having any transition time at my mom"s before going to bed. Her dad sleptwalked also. I don't think I know anyone who does or has sleptwalked. I never met my mom's dad. My boyfriend used to talk in his sleep a lot. I have done that also. I do sort of recognize a certain... profile in sleepwalkers and talkers but can't quite put my finger on it. Just an intuitive sense.
Zc
I don't know of anyone in my family who sleepwalks, but had no idea it was genetic.
It sounds as if your Da visits Liv in her sleep when her normal defenses and disbeliefs are down, and I would bet money that he asked her to give you his love, and to say that he is so very happy that you are finally having a wonderful life.
I sleep walk. I'll have entire conversations with you that I will have no recollection of in the morning. Every once in a while I will remember part of a sleep walking episode. I think it is when I'm in a slightly lighter stage of sleep & it is like a dream/sleep walking combo. A few months ago I was injured, in a ton of pain & couldn't really take care of myself. My partner was working a lot of hours so I ended up spending several days at my parents' house. At one point I finally got a couple of hours' sleep, but not without sleep walking into their bedroom convinced it was 8am and we were late for my Dr. Appt. I barely remembered it in the morning, don't remember getting to & from their bedroom. I'm not even sure how I managed to get myself up, just remember standing in their doorway convinced it was time to leave. I also remember a couple of times from when I was a kid, but I think I only remember episodes when someone woke me up at one point (like if someone keeps trying to convince me it isn't 8am & asking me questions instead of agreeing with me & gently leading me back to bed).
I love the thought of your girl getting to know her grandpa, even if it's in her sleep! I was a sleepwalker/talker/singer when I was a kid, and my 2.5-year-old has sleepwalked twice since we put her in a toddler bed. Who knows if she ran laps in her crib before that? It's definitely unnerving.
Hey Maria,
Sorry it's been so long since I commented. I still read faithfully but somehow couldn't muster up the strength to reply. But this triggered something in me, so here I am again.
I used to sleepwalk when I was about Liv's age. It might be genetic too in my case, since my grandmother on my father's side used to sleepwalk too. It waned for both of us around the same age, more or less 16. But until then, she had once spent a night in a tree in the yard and I had locked myself out of our apartment, buck naked :) The difference in my sleepwalking to that of Liv is that I remember the dreams I was having that led to me walking around. Not all, but most of them.
I haven't thought about my sleepwalking days in a long time but what you wrote about your Da coming to visit Liv... I dream a lot about my grandmother lately. She isn't dead, but dementia has struck hard and fast within barely a year. She's not the woman I knew anymore. But in my dreams, she's like she used to be. We talk, "banal" conversations but they make sense. Last time I saw her, she didn't even recognise me. So I'm holding on to the feeling that maybe, the soul that used to inhabit her is somehow already free. And it's seeking me out every now and then to have a chat. In a way, I think your Da is doing the same. Enjoy it. And don't worry too much about Liv's sleepwalking. As far as I know, it lessens with age in most people, it definitely has in my case. And I think it's a good sign that she comes to you, even if it's just to stare. She's seeking you out, not trying to flee from something and that's a good thing. I know it feels creepy or jarring (plus, who likes to lose sleep, eh?) but I'm sure it's not something to worry about.
Anna
Both my sister and I used to sleep walk. If I do now I wouldn't know as I live by myself.
My parents say I used to get up and walk out to the living room and sit in front of the tv with them. Or I'd go and stand at the fridge with the door open, just looking inside at nothing in particular!
My sister was a talker, come to think of it so was I, but in a made up sleep language of my own!!
Yikes! I would be spooked. Also, I could easily pee myself numerous times if I was waking up at night with someone at my bedside... #justsayin'
My mother kind of sleepwalks. She has a terrible, insane case of Restless Legs Syndrome and has had it for at least 20 years. Some days she gets just 10 minutes of sleep, the rest she keeps walking or rubbing her legs (I hate that sound) or stumping her legs and almost always eating (binging) at night. It looks funny, but makes me sad. Sometimes she'll be falling asleep sitting on a chair, leaning on the counter in the kitchen.. Not because she's old (although she's not young anymore either), but because her sleep pattern is very fucked up and she is just sleep deprived. Honestly, we don't know how she functions... Oftentimes she'll nap after dinner, but it's just 1-2 hours. Sometimes, after nights of 10 minutes of sleep that normally coincide with the full moon, she just can't get up and go to work, so she sleeps in and then goes. She calls nights of 4-5 hours of sleep incredible and "I feel sooo rested!", of course it's not all at once, with walking and leg rubbing in between each half-hour or hour.
The worst thing is that she doesn't DO anything about it. I found out it was RLS through the Internet several years ago, previously we thought she was an insomniac, so she tried sleeping pills and some remedies, but nothing ever worked. It all made sense with RLS, but there's no treatment and none of the doctors know much about this syndrome here (my mother and sister are both doctors too). STILL, she should do something and go see someone! She doesn't. We've been telling her to go see a neurologist or someone, look into iron deficiency, but she just plain refuses, thinks it's embarrassing.. Arrgg!!! We're tired of this too, every time she complains about no sleep, I just say I will not feel sorry for her anymore, because it's pointless since she's taking any measures at all.
Anyway... sleepwalking. So sometimes she'll be so sleep-deprived or maybe she falls asleep in the kitchen for like 2 minutes, so she's been known to put luquid soap into her mouth, eat our dog's worm pills and painkillers, also putting soap into lipstick cases, flour into the microwave... Very sad. Once, she fell asleep leaning on the kitchen counter, at night, and her legs gave in, she somehow sprang back and fell down on tiles with full on body contact! I woke up from a sound that I can only compare to a huge fridge stuffed with a hundred watermellons falling down, accept it was a human body. I guess it was a small concussion, although she never went to see anyone. What I'm afraid of, is that she likes opening the window or going to the balcony at night and looking out with her elbows on the window frame... Too dangerous (we live on the 5th floor) and yet she doesn't stop doing that. :(
My youngest sleepwalked for years. She would come into our bedroom, walk the perimeter of the master bath, and then leave. We used to get on to her at first, until we realized what was happening. We had to put bells on the outside doors; I was too paranoid that she would walk outside.
only when i am pissed (uk for drunk) and then only when I think i need the loo
I think that her even mentioning his name to you was him trying to let you know that he was thinking of you.
Creepy? Yes. But in the good sort of way.
m.
My brother and I were both sleepwalkers when we were young, though I outgrew it by the time I hit puberty. I was pretty tame, usually walked out into the living room and said some garbled things to my parents. They'd send me back to bed and that was that. My brother, on the other hand, would get a little wild and didn't outgrow his habit until he went away to college. A few of his sleepwalking exploits include:
-My dad waking up for work one morning very early and finding him curled up on the kitchen counter, dead asleep, with his head resting on the toaster, clutching a wooden spoon that had been in the sink as if it were a teddy bear.
-Instead of heading to the bathroom to pee, standing in front of my parents' dresser and peeing on it.
-While dreaming he was trapped in a dumpster, he stood on his bed and jumped at the ceiling, punching at it. He left a fist-sized hole in it. He was 16 at the time.
-While dreaming that he was playing in a play-off baseball game, he took off running at his bedroom window and slid into it. I was living at home briefly after college when this one happened. We were all awakened to the sound of shattered glass and raced into his room. He was sitting on the floor next to his window with a bloody knee and that glassy-eyed expression on his face. He had no recollection of it the next morning and even got indignant with all of us, "What the heck happened to my window last night? It was freezing in my room this morning!" He was 17.
After that last incident my parents took him to the doctor. He was less than a year away from going to college, West Point no less, and they really didn't want any late night calls finding out he'd killed his roommate in his sleep or who-knows-what-else. The doctor diagnosed him with night terrors, rather than just garden-variety sleepwalking. Most of these incidents did seem to come on during stressful periods in his life...taking the ACT's, being involved in too many activities at one time, my grandfather's untimely death. If I recall correctly, he was even prescribed a sleep medication, but he refused to take it. Fortunately, he did get past it once he went away to college. I'm sure that during his first year at West Point he was just too exhausted to even dream and now I guess he's just outgrown it. Still freaks me out a little to think about it.
Sara was a sleepwalker til a couple of years ago. So weird!
I don't sleepwalk .... but .... the nightmares have become less and less as I've got older, 'tho, on occassions, I wake in the morning to find Rhonda sleeping in the spare room and I know I've had so disturbed sleep that she's had to find another bed.
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