...if your car died in a grocery store parking lot on a Sunday afternoon and you had to wait to get it towed until Monday.
...and because your insurance won't pay for towing unless it is towed to the nearest car repair facility, you had to take it to some swanky ass place in the western area of your city instead of to Ben, your car repair guy who you LOVE as much as you can love a car repair guy.
....and because you are now having to hitch a ride with your spouse to work and she has to be there at 7 a.m., you and your daughter have to get to school and work at 6:45 instead of 8:30/9:00. You both took books to read, she in early drop off ("which is basically for babies, Mama!") and you at your desk.
....and because the car can't be repaired right away, you do this for two days.
....and then it costs nearly a thousand bucks to fix. This causes you and your spouse to get into an argument because you want to get a new car and she believes in driving cars until they die. She wins because she is like the money guru in the family and she acts like you are Lucy Ricardo with a visa card in a dress shop.
.....you finally get the car fixed (fuel pump) and as you are driving home, suddenly the ABS light and brake light come on even though the parking brake is off. The light goes off at a stop light and you resolve not to tell your spouse. This may be a bad decision. We'll see.
.....you go out with your niece for a pizza slice at Whole Foods for dinner because there is this really cute guy in the pizza making area that you've noticed several times. He looks like the lead singer from Mayday Parade, your niece's favorite band and you think that he and your niece should meet. So...you set up a dinner date with her and of course, that night he is nowhere to be found.
....you split a slice of chocolate cake after dinner and you feel your blood sugar shoot up way too high.
......you come home and your spouse makes a joke about the fact that you keep dropping things. You get all teary eyed and tell her that your fingers have been stiff lately with RA and she is an ASSHOLE to make fun of someone's disability. She feels badly, you can tell. You are glad. She should feel badly.
....things are just off with the two of you. Everything feels wrong lately.
....you just finished a really good book and the new book you are starting isn't enticing you yet.
.....why is the house so messy? Doesn't anyone around here clean except you?
......you look back on some old photos of your daughter when she was in kindergarten and you feel sad. You will never be that close again. You lose a little bit of her every month. You feel it. She is growing up and it is your job to let her go. Except, sometimes it feels like she is the only thing holding you to the rest of your life and that is kind of pathetic.
......you scold yourself because you are so lucky and there are so many people who aren't lucky.
.....you almost got into a car accident this morning as you were driving your newly fixed car to work. You accidentally cut a driver off because he was in your blind spot. He laid on the horn to remind you of what an idiot you are. And then he sped up, cut you off and gave you the finger outside of his window. You wanted to join him in his road rage but instead when you got to work, you rolled your eyes at that dumb ass perky secretary from the dentist's office who wears too bright colors and is always WAY too talkative in the morning when she had the audacity to tell you GOOD MORNING! ISN'T IT A LOVELY DAY? You are a bitch. You know that. Recognize that.
...what you really need is for someone to tell you that they can't stop thinking about you, that you are beautiful and sexy and smart and sweet and their day is disrupted because they keep thinking of you. You need some romancing.
.....instead, when you get home from dinner with your niece, your spouse says, "God, what did you spill on your blouse? Is that pizza sauce?
....you suddenly miss Steve Jobs and that is so stupid because you didn't know him but it is kind of like he was the Thomas Edison of your generation.
....you think that you will take a long hot bath and get in bed with a book until your eyes droop shut. Because, seriously, you are in such a bad mood that you don't even like being around you and that is too fucking bad because unfortunately, you're stuck with you.
.....goodnight mouse, good night house, goodnight bowl of mush and the little old lady whispering hush....