Saturday, October 22, 2011

Give some advice....

I read something brilliant on someone's blog earlier today and now for the life of me, I can't remember who was the can't give them the credit, but they asked for some words of advice and then compiled them.

So...I am going to ask you to do the same. And I will give the list to my daughter.

If you could go back in time and give advice to your junior high self, what would it be?


I'll start. Here's mine:

I don't know anyone who loved junior high. But, keep in mind that it is in junior high that you start to see what people are made of. The bullies begin to get their feet wet. The hair swishers begin to realize that they have some power over boys. The brainy ones realize that for the first time, it is not cool to be the smartest kid in math. A lot of life's biggest tests start in junior high.

Now, what is YOUR advice? I value your opinions and truly want to know.

And after this...we will tackle RELATIONSHIP advice, so get your thinking caps on, dudes.


Anonymous said...

To me, in junior high: It's okay to love what you love. Feeling like part of the crowd started to feel okay to me then for the very first time. I had always been one to march to a different drummer and I still am. But it was during junior high that I started to understand that a feeling of community can be a very powerful and important thing. It was so much fun. But also, it's okay to believe what you believe and do what you feel is right. You'll be proud of yourself for that in the future. Looking back, junior high was the time when I became less rigid on some things (e.g. learning that dancing to and singing popular songs is fun) and learned to stand up for others (e.g. refusing to make fun of others who have been kind to me). It was a hard, hard time but I believe it shaped me in a very good way for the future. Nothing is perfect in junior high but the lessons and the self-confidence will stick.

JohnD said...

If you could go back in time and give advice to your junior high self, what would it be?

I'd say to myself "Pull your finger out, study maths and science and go on and get that engineering degree you always wanted, envied those who had one and had to sit by and watch with your mouth shut while you saw them stuffing up a job you could do with one hand tied behind your back!"

Jamie said...

Maybe you found it at my place, but I always talk to your 18 year old self?

Anyway, JH, is HARD!!! My advice to myself would be to listen a little more to my Mom and to stand up tall. No matter what.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

My advice would be to skip junior high if possible and move on to high school. I think people's true selves become evident long before this point, though. I knew some really cruel kids in grade school and suspect they only honed their skills as they got older.

Real advice? Don't be intimidated by the seemingly popular kids who scoff at smart ones. They will end up working in unrewarding dead-end jobs to support babies they had much too young. Be yourself and you will attract friends who support and encourage you and are thrilled at your achievements.

C said...

my advice is to have been able to have the confidence in junior high, that i have today. i AM as good as everyone else... and i DO matter and have the right to be here partaking of all the world has to offer. i was so afraid all the time, i felt lesser than other people, and it got used against me and i got hurt, alot. i had the right to be there, i just didnt know it.

sybil law said...

Do NOT shave your eyebrows. You don't even HAVE a unibrow and your eyebrows are fine!

Kate said...

I would caution myself away from cliques. I would tell myself that Junior High friendships come and go, and to be friendly to everyone. To eat lunch with one group one day, and another group the next.

Anonymous said...

Life for me... starting in eigth grade... was a little different... more about death and difficulty, family, sex but not mine, money.

So I would say, "as difficult as it may sometimes get... try to enjoy the good parts of this time."

And in writing that, I realize... I did. I coped as best I could and I did enjoy some of what made those times good.

And I was lucky, the hard parts of my early childhood helped me learn good social skills and I used those social skills to create friendship and community and in turn, friendship and community were what helped me get thru.

I wish I hadn't turned to food. I wished I had read less. I wished I had taken my art and writing a little more seriously. I wish I had worried less about people liking me... not my peers but my family. I wish that help had been available and that I could have turned to it but at that time, there really wasn't a lot of professional help for teens. I got thru it. And I made friends. I used my skills - an understanding of the human psyche, humour, academics, art and writing - to get thru and honestly... I think that's pretty damn good.

Good to see that now.

Not what you were looking for, probably but what I would to say my junior high me or someone in a situation like mine.

In fact, I kknow someone like that and now that I think about it, I have been encouraging her along those lines.

She also gets professional help and I support and applaud that.

Okay. Enuf. I am looking forward to the relationship advice!


Sarahf said...

I would say "don't worry, you're doing fine". I was always trying to be "cool", or what I thought cool should be, and worrying that I wasn' enough. If I could have stopped that in Junior high, maybe I would have broken the habit by now.

Earth Muffin said...

I think Dr. Seuss said it best with the following words...

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

And I agree with you that a lot of life's biggest tests start in junior high. We are struggling with that ourselves with Big M. this year. I'll be kepping tabs on these comments to see what I can take for him.

Rose said...

If I could go back and give myself advice, it would be this:

Those girls who love you one minute and who ignore and make fun of you the next? NOT WORTH YOUR TIME, ENERGY, or TEARS! Don't try to please everyone--don't try to be something that THEY think you should be, because their expectations will NEVER be met. Be yourself, love yourself, and realize that you are special because you are so loving, so giving, and so positive. Never lose those qualities, and you will have something they won't: true happiness.

Destingirls said...

My advice to myself would b...u think it's hard now? Wait till high school!!

I would tell myself to quit comparing myself to others. Easier said than done but it would have made things so much easier.

Jennifer said...

I think I would have advised myself at that age to really start searching for something that I was passionate about; whether it was science, music, art, whatever. Just something that I could really get into, just for myself. I think that I became so preoccupied with the social side of things that I forgot to keep finding myself.

Fusion said...

Just get through it, it will get better by 10th grade.
Ask your parents for a math tutor.
Study harder and plan on getting a college degree.

Redbone210 said...

I'd have to agree with Earth Muffin.

Be yourself. Rock it fully and completely. Let that freak flag fly.

Don't worry so much about what others think or say. You do YOU is what I would say.

e said...

Keep your head down and be grateful that you are too insignificant for the 'popular' crowd to interested in you. Nothing wrong with avoiding trouble.