Thursday, August 18, 2011

True Love

I was checking my e-mail tonight and Bing came in smiling, hand behind her back.

"I have a little surprise for you!" she said.

I smiled back. What could it be?

Did she FINALLY get the next Dexter DVDs?

A perfect rose? (Stupid guess since she doesn't believe in giving flowers, has NEVER given me flowers, but has planted some for me...)

A crisp 100 dollar bill? (Another stupid guess. Bing can pinch a penny until it bleeds.She doesn't just hand out money.)

A restaurant coupon? (MUCH more up her alley. She pretty much refuses to dine out unless we have a gift card or a coupon for at least 5$ off...Don't smirk. I'm dead ass serious, dudes.)

A sweet card? (She IS good at getting me cards, but tends to put them on my pillow or tape them to the bathroom mirror or on the dashboard of my car.)

A perfect rock that she found on her walk?

Jewelry? (I repeat, she doesn't bandy around money loosely, but she has given me a gorgeous amethyst ring, a jade bracelet and a necklace with a tiny ruby on it.)

"What???" I asked, smiling flirtatiously.

She set a card on the table next to me. At first I thought it was a new credit card. It was, it was, it was....

An AARP card.

"I thought we could both use them to get really good health and insurance deals," she said, happily.

"I mean, they have incredible deals. Hotel rooms, airfare, you name it. And all because we are over age 50!"

She noticed my face fall and because she is Bing, she just didn't get it.

"Honey, let me get my catalog," she went on. "I'll show you all the great deals we are eligible for now!"

That's my Bing. A romantic to the core. So hot blooded and full of adoration.

Did I tell you about the time that she got me a bed bug wrap for our mattress on one of our anniversaries? (Actually, I was pretty into it. A friend of ours had recently been to hell and back when her son brought home bed bugs from a boy scout camp out when he shared a room with 20 other boys and their sleeping bags. It took them thousands and thousands of dollars and THREE months to rid their home of those pests, so I was grateful for a giant baggie to put our mattress in since we both developed a terror of bed bugs that was truly obsessive.)

And one year, she got me a foot massager for Christmas. Plus a very special pan to make omelets. Except, I had never made an omelet, nor wanted to make one.

Bing is not romantic, but she is mine.

And now we get 5 bucks off our dinners if we go for the early bird special at IHOP.

If that isn't true love, I just don't know what is.....


John Gray said...

just heard from eric
samehes not blogging!

Raven said...

5 bucks off and 5 years off your life (shudder)...


e said...

Oh god, yes, we keep getting spammed by those old people too! So far I have resisted... probably because I haven't looked at the catalog yet!

I'll see you down at IHOP, Maria, pushing my nifty walker with the seat and the basket...

sybil law said...

I am one of those people who loves practical gifts. I buy my own flowers (Mr. Law will get them but he's not very good at picking out flowers, and definitely doesn't get the kind I like); I'm not into jewelry, etc. But I looove practical gifts that I'll use.
So Bing can get me a gift anytime. :)
So... what's your favorite at iHop?!

ChiTown Girl said...

True love, indeed. :)

Lulubelle B said...

Actually AAA has better discounts... And I was horrorfied to realize this was a heated discussion amongst peers at a recent birthday lunch.

the only daughter said...

IHOP, Denny's, Bubba Gump Shrimp, and more . . . galore. :-) I have a card, get the mag, and am a member on the web site. So far, not terribly impressed with their slant on topics.

Haven't taken the card out for a discount spin. But may soon as I need more glasses. I signed up two years ago and re-newed this year. However, I probably won't re-up when the current term expires.

And yes, 'tis true love. said...

Maria, although I am 50, I refuse to join AARP!! I do get military discounts though. And when I feel "old" enough I will apply. My hubby is a few years my junior so I don't think he will be giving me this a a gift!

Sarahf said...

Nothing says I love you like a discount card. :P

Earth Muffin said...

My dad was dead-set against joining AARP. "That's for OLD people and I'm NOT old!!!" Then my parents started planning a trip somewhere and my mom looked into the deals that are offered through AARP. Now they are both it's biggest cheerleaders.

That said, no, not a very romantic gift. Not at all.

KMae said...

Both will come in handy! Get AAA too, you won't be sorry.
Funny post!

C said...


heartinsanfrancisco said...

Damnit. I read this while trying to take a pill, which I am not good at, and now my keyboard is drowning. You are funny! I've been scraping AARP mailings into the garbage as if they were dead mice on my dinner plate for years now, and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. But truly, what could be more romantic than the Paddy Chayefsky lighting at IHOP?


Definitely true love :)

Reading this post was a bit sad for me today. I've read your blog off and on for a couple years, but I just spent the last couple months starting from the very beginning and reading up until your last post..

.. which is this one. I loved coming to work (yes, this is where I read every single one of your posts!) and knowing that I can read your beautiful words until my little heart is content.

But gosh, now I need to wait for you to write another to read!

I thank you for writing such beautiful words for all of us to read.. I hope to be front in line to buy your novel someday. (because there really needs to be one!)