It's just so lovey dovey around here in the mornings:
Set the stage: Maria is up and crabby because she fell asleep during the MTV awards and Bing didn't wake her up to see The Hunger Games premiere trailer.
Bing is late. Again.
B: Ok, so I'll pay the car taxes and you call the city about when they plan to tear up the street next week, deal?
We just got a note on our door from the city last week that they will be tearing up our street next week. We'd kind of like to know WHEN exactly so that our cars won't be trapped in the gargage...
M: Fine, whatever. I can't believe you didn't wake me up!
B: Honey, I'm SORRY. OK? It's on u tube now. Go watch it now. Hey, where is the windex? I need to clean my windows at school today.
M: Looks like you forgot to empty the dishwasher AGAIN. Oh, well..no big deal. MARIA will just do it, like she does EVERYTHING around here.
B: Talking about yourself in the third person is never a good sign....
Baleful look from Maria. Bing comes out of bedroom holding up a squirt bottle
B: What's this? I found it next to the bed on your side.
M: OH! That's bleach.
B: What's bleach doing in our bedroom? New really scary sex game tonight involving us being um...spanking clean?
She laughs at her pun. Maria scowls.
M: No...I put it there when you were in Berlin this summer. Protection.
Bing looks quizzical. Maria sighs. She is still majorly annoyed about The Hunger Games.
M: In case there was an...intruder. I planned to...you know...spray it in his/her eyes.
B: You won't let us have a gun in the house, but you think bleach is a good idea.
M: Well, yeah. You know, my plan was to blind them with bleach and then use the baseball bat to hit them in the knees and cripple them. I'm not a killer. No guns. But, I am a...a...maimer.
Bing grins. Gives Maria a quick kiss goodbye.
B: I'll see you tonight at Liv's game. 5:30, right?
Bing talks to herself as she goes out the door:
B: She's all mine, folks. All mine.....