We were laying in bed last night, holding each other before sleep.
I confess that I am not a snuggler, in general. But some rainy nights are made for cuddling up and whispering softly and last night was perfect for that.
I know every inch of her.
I know that her breath will smell like Crest toothpaste when she comes to bed. She knows that my face will be slathered with La Mer.
We talk softly about our days, how they went. She tells me about that one kid that she just can't seem to reach no matter how hard she tries. I tell her about how I wish I could just fire my secretary, I like her less and less with each day that passes, but she is elderly and I can't bring myself to do it even though the office would surely cheer me on if I did.
She strokes my breast softly, running her fingertips over my nipple.
It isn't sexual, just...comforting.
We kiss. Once. Twice. Thrice.
She pulls me closer and I put my head into the crook of her neck. My place.
We are quiet and I think she is almost asleep and I say, "Promise something?"
She takes a breath. "Ok, what?" she asks.
"Promise me that when I die you will put my ashes around the magnolia tree and the rose bushes," I say, trying to keep my voice from catching.
"MARIA!" she says, not as softly. "You aren't going anywhere. You are staying right here with me forever. We will die in each other's arms. Let's make a deal right now. Pinky swear?"
I am quiet.
I finally say, "We should know these things about each other, yes? Like, if you die first where should I put your ashes?"
She sighs. Strokes my hair, takes a hank of it and kisses it.
"Somewhere in water," she finally says, after I wondered if she had fallen asleep. "I want to be somewhere in water. How about Lake Pontchartrain?"
I agree to this and we kiss some more. It is getting late and we both are sleepy.
I turn on my side and she spoons me like she always does. We will fall asleep this way but when I wake up at 3:14 a.m. (every night like clockwork) she will be facing away from me.
It is good to have this settled between us. Good to know that she will take care of me and I will take care of her.