I know. I know. It sucks to have to listen to other people's dreams.
But, hey...YOU were in my dream last night, so suck it up and keep reading because I really, really want your opinion.
I was in a church (keep reading, it gets better) and there was this fire-and-brimstone female preacher there. She looked like Anita Bryant and she was literally yelling and screaming.
HOMOSEXUALITY IS WRONG! IT VIOLATES OUR SENSE OF MORALS AND MAKES BABY JESUS WEEP!
And she said HEY ZEUS instead of JESUS, so she was at least good for comic relief.
Because it is really really funny when white bread people say Hey Zeus.
At any rate, I was sitting next to someone. Do not know if it was a male or a female, I just know that they were writing me really funny notes. Things like:
Is it just me or is church overrated?
I wonder what Anita looks like when she cums? DOES she cum? EVER? Do you think she is a whimperer or the type that grabs your ears and screams? Do you think she screams HEY ZEUS! or is that just wrong on so many levels?
I'm hungry now. Let's go to IHOP and get pancakes.
What the hell is she throwing her fist in the air for? She has armpit hair that could be braided, dude. I would have NEVER guessed that she wasn't a pit shaver. She looks SO much like a scrupulous pit shaver, don't you think?
Whoever it was had on these GREAT sneakers. Chuck Taylors.
Then, he/she handed me a new note. It said:
I'm one of your blog readers. Guess which one!
I made an attempt to see the face of my witty companion but he/she put her/his hands over my eyes. I smelled something sort of....patchouli-ish. Hmmm. Male? Female?
And then the alarm woke me up.
So...ok...which one of you is it? Because you were really, really funny and I want to go eat pancakes with you right now at IHOP.
Fess up, dude.