Why are the gods conspiring against me?
We had a "snow event" yesterday. The streets are, as Bing called to tell me, "slick as snot." A blizzard is predicted for Tuesday and Wednesday. This pisses me off. NO snow is supposed to fall until Christmas Eve. It's one of my rules.
It is fuckin' freezing outside. We are talking a whopping 1 degree.
My car, which was supposedly repaired last week, is leaking again. We are two very busy people with two very busy lives and making do with one car is a huge pain in the ass.
My rheumatoid arthritis is attacking my left hand. Since I am left handed, this means that opening yogurt cartons, milk cartons, blinds, etc. is nearly impossible. It is a small thing and yes, I am grateful that it is leaving my ankle alone for now, but it makes me crabby.
My lips are chapped. Ditto my hands and my thighs. My butt skin is dry, thus, very itchy. Making it look like I am a butt scratcher when I am not. No matter how much lotion or blistex I slather on, nothing is helping. This is not supposed to happen until late January. It is a rule.
We have Native American drums hanging up all over the house. Bing made them. They are made mostly of deer and cow hide. When a storm is coming they make this popping, crackling sound, sort of like rice krispies with milk poured on them. They are making a lot of noise...hence....a BIG motherfucker of a storm is coming.
Which would explain why I can barely move my left hand. Because I am old and decrepit and have become one of those people who can predict the weather with their joints.
Bing has had a cold all week. It isn't getting better. She is refusing to go to a doctor. Instead she is whiny. Bing hardly ever gets sick, and when she does, she is, in my opinion, a huge bawl baby. If I have to hear her tell me one more time that she can't breathe through her nose, I may throw something.
Liv is running around happily, expressing her sincere and heartfelt wish that she get a snow day from school. She told me, very seriously, last night, that she ADORES precipitation. This is not my child. Any child of mine would not like precipitation.
I am the worst driver in the world in snow. I am one of those panicky people that you don't want to be behind.
I had bad dreams all night. For some reason, I keep dreaming of pipes bursting. I am hoping that they are not prophetic.
Which just reminded me....the bathroom sinks at my office were all plugged up and I was supposed to leave a message for the plumber before I left for home on Friday and I forgot.
Heroes is on hiatus until January. What the fuck is up with that? In my day (and I KNOW that I sound like an old biddy), television shows started back up in August and went continuously until May. It is RULE. Amazing Race finished up last night and I really wanted the zebra team to win. Although, I am grateful that the gay brothers didn't win, because, honestly, that tall brother who looks like Raymond's brother? Serious whine ass baby.
My hair looks stupid today.
And now I have to leave early for work. Because, yes, the streets are slick as snot and I have a child to transport to school. This means that I will act like I'm not scared out of my bloomin' mind while I drive and sing Christmas carols with Liv.
And then I must call the plumber and sweet talk him. I can do this, I just don't like it.
Let's all meet up someplace warm and lay in chairs out in the sun, what do you say?
Bah humbug. Time for me to put on my calm mother mask and get going.
Reminder to self: DO NOT LET LIV FORGET HER LUNCH.
Is it Spring yet?