I dreamed that I was clothes shopping. I took a pile of clothes into a dressing room. There was a toilet in there.
I thought to myself How FREAKING clever to put toilets in their dressing rooms!
I sat down and had a large bowel movement.
(If you think dreaming about having a bowel movement is weird, you are absolutely right!)
And realized that there was no toilet paper.
So, I called out to the sales person for help. When she came to the door, I realized that it was one of the snottier moms at Liv's school. The one who is always dressed in these great funky clothes with lots of clunky jewelry. Her haircut is fantastic. A chin length bob.
It never occurs to me to be embarrassed that I have just shit in a dressing room.
I tell the clerk my dilemma, smiling unashamedly. I also tell her that I really like her hair but honestly, all that posing at Liv's school. She isn't fooling anyone.
She is glaring at me. I don't get why she is mad.
Obviously, I am supremely idiotic in my dreams.
She tells me that those toilets aren't for using, they are a DECORATION.
I realize, too late, that I have made a grande faux pas.
I am finally smart enough to be embarrassed and start looking through my purse for toilet paper. I ask her if she can just bring me a paper towel, anything.
She says no. That I need to figure my way out of this mess.
I must have figured it out because suddenly in my dream, I was walking down a street with Liv, right as rain. No shit on me.
We stop at a road side stand and buy a whole basket of tomatoes.
This is crazy since I just spent two days last week canning and freezing, putting my garden to bed. I even kept Liv out of school for two days to help. (I know, I know...BAD MOTHER. But, I figured that she could always go to school, we can't always have canning time together and I want her to learn this stuff.)
Instead of taking the tomatoes home, I start throwing them at cars that are driving by. Liv is not amused and tells me to "grow up."
Okay...you dream analysts. Why am I dreaming about shitting in dressing rooms, buying tomatoes and throwing them? Any ideas?
We are on our way to the Husker game now, so I will check back later for your interesting ideas. And then I will tell you what I came up with.
And hey....anyone want to share a dream you had? Can you beat shitting in a dressing room?