Comfort Food

I just got back from the grocery store.

Bing would not be happy with the contents of my cart. When she is here, good luck finding any processed food in the house. It is ALL homemade and fresh.

When I am in charge of meals, we tend to go out a lot, order in a lot and if I must cook, well....let's just say that I didn't buy that giant box of Cap'n Crunch for nothin'.

As I was putting the groceries away, it occurred to me that I must be depressed because there are a hell of a lot of my comfort foods in those bags. Since Liv's father is here, I have a few of his favorites too, but he is not that different than me. We have many of the the same food likes. Plus, he is used to eating in tents a lot, so he could live on slim jims, cold cereal, granola bars and berries. Liv's favorite foods all involve going to a restaurant because I have no idea how to make oysters on the half shell (her birthday dinner request, I am serious..) She also likes sushi, salmon and pomegranates.

How did I get this child? I mean, she is like a high maintenance girl when it comes to food. I almost feel like throwing up when I watch her slurp up those oysters.

So, yeah, she suffers when dinner is left to me. Except when we have tomato soup and grilled cheese, which we both love. She also likes the way I cook eggs (not too goopy, not too hard) and I do make a pineapple smoothie that she particularly enjoys.

So. There in my cart. Comfort food.

MY TOP TEN COMFORT FOODS.

1) Mashers. This involves a wee bit of cooking, but it is so easy that Socks could make it. You just peel four Idaho potatoes, slice them into rounds and boil them in salt water for about twenty minutes. Then you smash them with an implement that I call "the potato smasher" but probably has a nicer name. Put in some butter and salt and keep smashing and there you go. It is wonderful. I love a bowl of nice mashers when I am feeling blue.

2) Tomato soup and grilled cheese. This is another easy dish, but something about the way the grilled cheese tastes so exquisite when you dunk it into the hot tomato soup...ahhh. So smooth and crunchy all at once and this meal is perfect on a rainy day.

3) Oatmeal. I am picky about my oatmeal. I like Mother's Oatbran. Made not with water or milk, but CREAM. And then I like to top it with brown sugar and raisins. Sometimes when I have had a hard day at work, even if it is 100 freakin' degrees outside, I just crave a bowl of oatmeal. I eat it slowly, with a good book propped up in front of my bowl and no interruptions from children, dogs or spouses, please. Let me eat my damn oatmeal and then ask me.

4) Black licorice. I adore those nice long strings of black licorice. I like the way you have to chew a lot to get it all soft and mushy. And then, you swallow, and it is like someone giving you a hug or listening to you rant or letting you get in their driving lane when yours is cutting off.

5) Dill pickles. Again, I'm picky. I only like Claussen's pickles (they are in a fridge case at the supermarket) and I only like the nice big slurpy ones. Once in a while, I will be okay with one of those really big pickles that you get in pickle barrels in old stores, but I find that Claussen's work just fine. One of my favorite things to do is eat pickles and read. I think I have more pickle juice stains on my books than is a good idea, but at least this way no one wants to borrow them.

6) Lay's BBQ potato chips. Again, picky, picky. They have to be Lays. I like them crunchy and thin. And if I find one that is slightly burned, GOD. SO GOOD. I like the way they crunch so sharply and leave your mouth feeling just a little bit tingly with hickory taste. I never buy the big bags because Bing detests potato chips because they are processed and very, very bad for you and Liv just isn't interested in junk food. She likes fruit for a treat, is crazy about frozen green grapes. Again, how did this wonderful eater come from my side of the family? We all revel in junk food.

7) Long johns with caramel icing. Our grocery store just opened a Krispy Kreme bakery. Every time Bing and I shop together, I allow myself to buy just one. Again. Bing would rather die than put that trash into her body and you guessed it, Liv doesn't really like doughnuts. She thinks they are too sweet and says they make her feel "throw-uppy." I think they are both nuts. I ADORE biting into a nice warm long john and feeling that creamy filling squirt into my mouth. I don't even mind when I bite down and some falls on my shirt. That's fine. I'll just bring the shirt right up to my mouth and lick it off. Socks really likes licking my fingers when I have finished a long john and I suspect that he would like them just as much as I do, but I don't dare give him one for fear that he would start running around like a crazy dog on a sugar high. Because that is EXACTLY what I feel like when I finish one. And I only eat a half long john at a time because if I don't, my blood sugar would go through the roof and I would go into a diabetic coma.

8) Thanksgiving dinner. There is nothing on our Thanksgiving dinner table that I don't like. And it is my choice for a birthday dinner. Hot roast turkey with stuffin' with raisins and oysters. Mashers. Turkey gravy with those little giblets chopped up in it. Hot rolls dripping with butter. Corn on the cob. Sweet potato pie. Black olives. Pumpkin pie with whipped cream. Green beans with that crunchy onion topping. And then the next day, you get to make a turkey pot pie with the leftover turkey, stuffin', mashers and olives. God, just roll me away from the dinner table.

9) Fried chicken. Preferably from KFC. Extra crunchy. I also like the Shake and Bake coated chicken. ("It's Shake and Bake, and I helped!!") My mother used to make chicken that she put in a big bowl full of buttermilk in the fridge for a couple of hours and then she dunked it in flour, pepper and smashed corn flakes. I still love that, although I bet I haven't had it in ten years since I don't cook much and Bing would not approve of the dunking in corn flakes business. And I only get Shake and Bake chicken when my sister makes it because Bing once took a look at the ingredients on the Shake and Bake box and asked me point blank if I had a death wish. She also told me that as far as she was concerned it was child abuse to feed it to Liv, so well...nope. We don't have Shake and Bake in our house. Well....um....we do now. I plan to make it for dinner tomorrow night. Or...well...I have Tinton (Liv's father) talked into making it. Hopefully, it won't linger on my breath for days or anything, because I swear if Bing smelled it on me, she might consider leaving me for a nice healthy girl who doesn't poison her body.

10) And last, but not least, Peanut butter toast. I feel like peanut butter just makes any bad day better. I like mine extra crunchy and I am partial to Peter Pan, although I will eat any kind of peanut butter, any time. And Bing has no qualms with buying all natural peanut butter, so I don't have to sneak it. I have been known to take a table spoon and load it with peanut butter and then take it outside to savor while star gazing on the back steps. But, I like it best on slightly burned toast. With a big cup of chai tea.

Of course, there are many, many other foods that I find very comforting:

Apple martinis
Vanilla malts
Velveeta cheese on a Ritz cracker.
Chocolate covered cherries.
White chocolate chip cookies.
Cream of chicken soup.
Blueberry muffins smothered with honey butter.
A big bowl of vanilla bean ice cream with butterscotch topping and nuts.
Chicken fried steak.
Hamburger and black olive pizza.

You may have noticed that there were very few vegetables or fruits on my list. And considering that I grew up on a farm, you would think that I should know better. I actually LIKE a lot of fruits and vegetables and my garden is fairly bursting with them, but well...no...they aren't my comfort foods. Well, maybe corn on the cob. But, only in August. Only from Nebraska and Iowa, fresh off the cob and bought from a farmer who grew it him or herself. Smear that sucker with butter and salt and lots of pepper and boy howdy, we are talking weepingly good.

I like strawberries a great deal too. Most fruits. Not melons so much, but the rest of the fruits are fine with me.

So, I'm curious. What are your comfort foods?