The phone rings. I am right in the middle of making final notations on a chart and think I will ignore it, but at the last moment pick it up.
It's Bing.
Bing: Hi, you. Thought I would see how your day is goin'.
Me: It's goin'. Remind me to tell you the funny story about Dodie, the audiologist when I get home. Too long for a phone conversation.
B: Okayyyy. Hey, I have a chance to earn some extra money if I take tickets at the basketball game tonight. You and Liv want to come?
Me: Sure. Buy us a hot dog?
B: (sighing) EWW. How can you guys eat that trash? But, okay. I'm easy.
Me: Tell me about it...
A short pause.
B: Honey?
That would be me, folks. I also answer to Sweet Ass Gal, Pretty woman, Bitsy (don't ask), Dear, and Miss Priss.
Me: Yeah?
B: Maybe we can make some time for us this weekend?
For all you dumb-as-doorknobs out there, this means she wants to have sex this weekend. I know this because it has been awhile and she can't go as long without it as I can. The truth is that I have a sort of sluggish libido. Don't tell me it is my age. I have been like this since I was 16. Even when I was supposed to be all randy and ripe for the picking, I always had to be coaxed. The truth is that I once went without sex for nearly two years and I was just fine. I am not kidding. Sex isn't a big deal for me. For Bing, well...like most normal people, she sort of likes to have carnal knowledge with me from time to time. And when it has been a while, well...I pretty much just have to take my socks off and she is ready to go.
Me: Okey dokey. Putting it in my black book, sweetie. Suck face with wife this weekend.
B: (lowering her voice) Well, it doesn't have to be my....face.
That makes me laugh. So we have a moment. One of those softly laughing coupley moments.
Me: Okay. Yes. Liv is invited to that birthday party on Sunday evening. Want to have a date?
B: Yessss. How about I make us a nice dinner and I'll play that song you love so much on the piano....
She means this one. And yes, she can really play the whole thing on the piano without breaking a sweat, because she is that fucking musical. I love to sit next to her when she plays, mostly because I lose her to the music and I love watching her face. And she does always come back to me. And then smiles. Which, I believe, she is well aware sort of gets me...right there. So, let's call it very successful foreplay.
Me: Oh, yes. That would be nice. But...let's get takeout chinese, okay? So..no dishes to do?
This is Maria speak for
Let's get down and dirty and not worry about the dog sitting on the kitchen table and licking the butter dish.
B: Yes. Good idea. Because, it has been a long time, Maria.
Me: Oh, pish tosh.
B: Try 15 days. But, um...who's counting?
Me: Honey?
That would be Bing. She also answers to sweetie, sugarfoot, lovey and Clementine (don't ask.)
B: Yeah?
Me: I'm sorry. I didn't realize it had been so long.
B: You never do. Good god, woman...if I didn't know better, I'd think you had some little hussy on the side.
Me: Now, THAT'S funny. Hey, remind me to tell you about my lunch conversation with the bag lady on Ames street. I love her.
B: (I can feel her smiling) Okay. Hey, I better go. Some slug-a-longs are refusing to leave the building and I think I will go have to kick some ass out the door. Why they want to hang around here is beyond me....
Me: Bye you.
B: Bye, you.
No, we hardly ever say I love you on the phone. No idea why. We just don't.
Me: WAIT! BING?
B: Yes?
Me: We need milk for Liv's breakfast tomorrow. Don't let me forget.
B: Gotcha. See you soon, June.
And that is what couples talk about at three in the afternoon on Friday.
Of course, after that, I had Bella's Lullaby in my head and I kept picturing her head bent down, playing the piano...
But, foreplay is good.
And so is delayed gratification.
28 comments:
Such a beautiful conversation between spouses. I LOVE it! I am like you where I can forget how long it has been until I am reminded. But that's what out partners are for!!
Well, at least someone's getting some this weekend. ;)
OK... well we know what MARIA and BING are up to this weekend!!! Hey...prolonged foreplay.. gratification whatever... anticipation is almost better than the act itself!
Hi Maria,
A very cool song. I understand. Happy weekend!
Best wishes,
Skeeter
lovely conversation, mine with him aren't nearly that sweet. I have yet to hear that song. I have yet to see the movie. I've read the books and the actors played it out in my head. But I'm afraid the movie won't be as good.
i once went nearly three years without, so i get you on the sluggish libido. haha.
Well I hope you have fun! Wish I thought I would be....meh!
Well I hope you have fun! Wish I thought I would be....meh!
Now I know what I'll be thinking about on Sunday evening. :)
I almost feel like a peeping Tom outside your window, listening to your conversations. I'd tell you to have a good weekend, but it sounds like it's a done deal. :)
You lucky guys.
My running total is now fifteen years of enforced celibacy, Maria.
Doesn't anyone want to get it on with ugly folk, dammit?
Have a great weekend. ;)
I got all my whorin' out of the way in my 20s. Now I could go months without it. Hubbz isn't a big fan of that plan, though, so eventually I give in.
That's a sweet conversation.
Usually Dan and my's conversations on Friday get a little excited because we're both excited for the weekend.
OMG, your spouse can play Bella's Lullaby? Hot. Have a GREAT weekend! ;-)
Glad I got a chance to wish you a good time before the big date night. Thanks for sharing this intimate look at you guys.
I've gone over a year before and was totally fine with it...and that was while I was in college!
Love that song, sounds like you've got a great Sunday evening planned. Enjoy yourselves!
Those moments are the glue, the reminder that a couple is a "we" and an "us."
I love those moments.
If I talk to my spouse at all on the phone it's all pure business. Sex? I think I remember that but I could be wrong.....
I love that song so much but my daughter plays it at least 25 times a day so it does tend to kill it after a while. She is a doing a modern ballet solo to it at the May competitions so I am destined to hear it quite a few more times yet.
Ha. I am like Bing I count the days - I think our texting conversation went something like her accusing me of hallucinating and me saying something about hallucinations being the first sign of sex deprivation. I hope I can stop counting days this evening.
Course then eventually I'll just have to start again.
Tell Bing I offer my condolences and can she show me how to play the piano?!
"dumbass doorknobs"? hrrrummph! i thoroughly enjoyed the ensuing explanation/description/dialogue, and am thus glad to be among the dimmer of your readers :)
Oh. My.
Loving. Sexy. Real. Funny.
And with a soundtrack. Perfect.
That sounds much better than the phone conversations Iwanski & I usually have at 3 PM...which is usually, "How's your day going?" "Fine. How's your's?" "Good." "Did you remember to buy some laundry detergent?" "Yep." "OK, thanks. I'll call you when I'm leaving work." "OK, bye."
Nothing sexy about that. *grin*
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who reminds my spouse of time lapses. Somehow I'm thinking Bing hasn't taken to marking it on the calendar like I have though!
Geez my partner just kicked me out of the bed for coughing and keeping them awake. We don't do lovey dovey conversations I'm afraid.
If I did, they'd just laugh their arse off and wonder what was wrong with me.
That's what loving couples talk about on the phone at 3 in the afternoon.
Why the hell am I crying at this post? I'm usually the one reading your comments and thinking, holy shit, does everything Maria types make these people cry? Or do they just cry all the time?
Now, look at me. I'm crying, and it's not even one of your sappy posts.
(I'm crying, and I'm also trying NOT to think about my Aunt Bitsy...um, eating Chinese take out.)
Mmmm ... hope that Sunday night was nice and that the chinese food was delicious :)
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