Monday, December 29, 2008

Just a thought

Well, I am LOVING the response, so far, to my question below.

I absolutely want to hear about your hometown. No need to tell me the city, just spill the general area and tell me all about it. I have found the answers to be fascinating. I want to hear what it is like where you sit.

And also...just a thought. I constantly get spam from dating services in my e-mail. And while I will never use it, being happily married and all that (well, lately...okay..we have been treading water, but the vibe will return, it always does)...but anyway, I am curious.

Has anyone used a dating service either online or otherwise? I never have and I am very, very curious. What sorts of questions do they ask? Do you feel that you were portrayed fairly? When you met others, what were they like? Were they good matches?

Because, lately, it seems that a lot of people are getting matched up online, don't you think? It used to be kind of embarrassing, I think, to admit that you met someone online. Now, it is no big deal. And it shouldn't be, really. I mean, why NOT use all avenues given to you? But, I am curious...do they work?

And please...I also want to know where you are from and what it is like.

I want to get a feel for you...

Did anyone see The Sound of Music last night? It was Liv's first time, so we all watched it.

Favorite part: when Vince and Thuan danced and sang out "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" pretending to be the real male Liesl with his Rolphe.

It was so hilarious that we now have a new diet root beer stain on our sofa from where I knocked over my drink.

And now...off to work. Ugh. Kind of hard to jump back into it, but there is a promise from Thuan for a Vietnamese dinner waiting for me when I get home and Liv has many, many devoted babysitters....

30 comments:

the only daughter said...

I saw it when scrolling and stopped to watch a few minutes. I'd missed the beginning, so I let it pass. Maybe next time.

I went on-line a couple years ago and after 3 or 4 months, met N. I used three different sites.

It was my first time and in fact the first time I'd attempting any kind of 'dating' since my divorce some 8 years prior.

The experience was full of shock and awe, humorous and sometimes enlightening.

Each of the three sites had their own personality meters. The Q & A ranged from rigid (just the facts) or what I liked to call -name and serial number- approach, thus, no personality to a more open format, open to expounding and waxing all poetic (if that's your thing).

I prefer the open format as I am as interested in -how- as -what- is said.

Still, real-life or virtual, it's all a crap shoot based much on whether you can trust that someone is being honest with their words and emotions.

Earth Muffin said...

I've never used an online dating service. Before I met Mr. EM, I toyed with the idea of using a local one (not online), but then I ended up not having to because he wandered into my life. I have a cousin who used Eharmony.com and is currently living with the very nice guy she met through that site. However, I also have a friend who has had (in my opinion, I think she'd say differently) nothing but bad luck dating online. She's met one abusive guy and a bunch of other really immature ones. She is currently married to someone she met that way, but they live separately. I guess I'd feel very skeptical about meeting someone that way. Honesty is so hard to come by these days...

I grew up in a small town (about 4000 people) in South/Central Illinois. Everyone knew everything about everybody. It was a nice way to grow up, as a kid it's very reassurin to know that everybody in town is looking out for you. However, as a teenager and adult, it's more than a little unsettling. Many people, of course, embrace it. I have several friends from high school who have chosen to stay there and raise their own families there. But it wasn't the place for me, I like a little more anonimity and a LOT more diversity.

jenny said...

I live on the south coast of England, where even the poor people have mobile phones and Wii's! Its chav central, kids have no respect for anything, neither do the adults for that matter, I'm seen as weird for sending my kids to good schools. No one goes to church, I know I dont either but theres nothing to follow here, no good examples no role models.

Dating online? The women just want to meet new people, make new friends and get to know someone, the men are ready to get married. Now. If you meet a man online and you have mayebe 3 or 4 meetings, coffe, walk the dog, maybe dinner, the woman is still figuring out if she likes the guy, to him its a relationship. The woman thinks the guy really isnt for him and wants to stop 'dating' he is heartbroken, he wanted a relationship, didnt really matter who with. He calls her a bitch and user and goes back to online dating and becomes more and more resentful about all women and tells each one this on all the 'dates' he goes on. The woman how ever, thinks stuff dating, has fun with her friends, makes all her own decisions, doesnt have anyone tell her how to bring up her kids and lives happily ever after with her chickens (cough), yeh well thats what I hear...

Jill said...

I did the hometown thing already. Last year I think. I can't remember. In a nutshell: It's small. Very, very small. And I didn't belon there. But it's a nice place to go back and visit every once in awhile :-)

zirelda said...

I used match.com once about six years ago. Was supposed to meet a cowboy in a bar wearing a red shirt. There were like 12 of them.....

oh well. nothing ventured nothing gained.

Anonymous said...

I grew up in Butte, America. Great town, insane history, I feel privileged to be from there. Let's hear it for growing up in one of the US's largest Superfund sites.
As for dating services, been there done that. First go around was a nightmare but this second time around is turning out quite nicely. Sweet gal and things are progressing at a nice leisurely rate.

The Idle Devil said...

We have matchmaking sites in India which are pretty reliable and plus we use family contacts to find out background information about a certain guy if we ever need to. Usually families are also involved but my best friend is doing it all alone. 80% of people she met were all freaks who were out to have a good time or wanted a sleazy encounter in a hotel room. I just met one guy off the Internet dating site who was a date in hell.

After a few years of not dating, I finally met my husband on a different matchmaking site a year ago and we instantly clicked. So, i guess you never know - they arent completely hopeless or a refuge for people of the terrifying kind.

Coming home to a vietnamese dinner more than makes up for staying at work for 8 hours. Do describe it in detail after you've eaten it. :)

Mrs. Schmitty said...

I live at the Jersey Shore. The neighborhood is pretty much middle class. Where we are comfortable, but not wealthy and work hard for what we have. People in town know mostly everyone. It's a nice place, great schools, friendly (most of the time) people. It can get a little Peyton Place at times...but that keeps it fun (as long as you are on the right side of the gossip)LOL.

We are surrounded by a lot of wealthy towns (I actually grew up in one, Rumson, where Bruce Springsteen has a home, among others). My dad though was a trash collector in town...so you can just IMAGINE my youth. UGH!

Terroni said...

Yes, I saw (a tiny bit of) The Sound of Music last night. And I thought of you and your Maria is a bitch! discovery. I decided that if she didn't kill any of those seven kids, she must have been a saint. A domineering saint, perhaps, but a saint nonetheless.

Are Vince and Thuan planning to take their show on the road? I'd really love to see that.

deb said...

I live in Edmonton, it's an odd city, large but filled with people from small towns and farms. We have a large new immigrant population from all over the world. When I go to the mall I hear so many different languages, you'd never know you were on the prairies. Edmonton is also a liberal city in a conservative province which is odd as well. We have a thriving art community and the University of Alberta does some incredible, ground breaking medical research.

I've lived here for seventeen years, which is the longest I've lived anywhere and unless we can get Katie moved to a group home in BC, I imagine I'll die here. It's not so bad here. The winters are long and cold but we have enough money now to go away sometimes. The summers are beautiful. Because it's so cold here in the winter, I think people appreciate summer more here, spend more time outside.

But you know I'm kinda clueless about lots of things. I worked at the "inner city" hospital for years before I realized it was the "inner city" hospital. Go figure.

jyankee said...

Hmm... on-line...I've never been to a website for those, but know a customer who has. She met her husband on-line. I guess they were pretty honest on the website and then decided to get together and hooked up. Though, this is her third divorce and I'm not sure how many for him. As far as I know they are still together...go figure! As it wasn't me, I can't say whether it was a good match up or not!
I think you heard about me from my last comment! LOL..but just an additional note...being from the Pacific Northwest, besides the people, it has everything, the coastline, the desert, the mountains and the valleys.. I can't say we're lacking in nature!

Miss Healthypants said...

Funny, Iwanski & I just went out to dinner with an engaged couple who met on match.com...and my happily-married sister met her husband on a dating website. So there you go! I think that's just how people meet nowadays.

And as for where I live? In Chi-town, people are generally friendly--but living in downtown Chicago, you rarely know your neighbors. In fact, I've only met two of our neighbors in the 9 years we've been living in our apartment building. People move in and out all the time. It's just the way it is.

Where I grew up, though--in Wisconsin--everyone knows everyone...and everyone's business. I like my lifestyle now much better. :)

Jessica said...

Dating service:

I met a really cute girl on gay.com about 3 1/2 years ago. We are still very much in love. PUKE, right?

Hometown:

I grew up in a village of 400 people (a little under 400 actually). This village is called Blue River, and it is in Wisconsin. The locals call it "Blue Dog". It is right next to the Wisconsin River. My Dad belongs to a group of rough and tumble guys that call themselves the "Blue River River Rats". The town is quaint, there are no stop signs, there is one bar, there is one church, and neighbors bring neighbors pies. I moved as far as I could as fast as I could when I was 18. There are a lot of benefits to the city life but I always miss certain things about ole Blue Dog.

sister AE said...

I have lived full-time in the Boston area since the mid-eighties but I still don't feel like a New Englander. I still feel like a Midwesterner from a small town. I no longer have what my friends out here called a "flat midwestern twang" but I don't "pahk the cah" either.

What is it like here? I live in one of the most liberal places in the country and I am grateful that my car radio can pick up multiple types of music every day. There are more institutions of higher learning jammed close together here than practically anywhere else in the world. That adds a lot of youth and a lot of people who are all about learning to the mix. Mental stimulation is easy to find. Plenty of museums and people from all parts of the world.

Native New Englanders might complain about the weather, but when pushed about it most would never change it for anything else. There is a pride in having toughed out times like the Blizzard of '78 or made it through Hurricane Gloria or Bob.

And in this year, when so many people are out of work and short on cash, the Salvation Army in this state announced last week that they were on track to surpass this year's goal (which is a $400,000 increase over last year)! So I think folks around here have generous natures.

QuJaBaKa said...

Must be the time for Sound of Music because tomorrow night will be Baa's first time so we will be staying up.

I started writing about my hometown here but then realised it was going to be a longish comment so have made it into a post on my own blog, feel free to toodle over for a read, you know where to find me.

Oh and on the dating thing, well I hold a profile on a site at this very moment in time, I don't know if it will ever come to anything and I can't justify the money to subscribe, but hey maybe one day the perfect man will pop up and "wink" at me and I will live happily ever after with my prince charming, NOT!!

LL Cool Joe said...

I've never used any on line dating service, probably because I met my soul mate at 18.

We live about a 45mins drive from London here in the UK. My partner works there, and commutes each day. The village we live in has no shops, no pub, but a pretty famous Church. Although we are very much in the country we are only 10 minutes from shops and 20 minutes from a large town full of skyscrapers. I love living where we do, we get all the benefits of country living but only a stones through away from urban life. We moved here so our daughters could have a private education.

We have no contact with the few neighbours we have and that suits me just fine as I'm very anti-social. I hate the idea of someone just knocking on our door.

The only negative aspect is the distant hum of the motorway. But no place is perfect and I'm very blessed to have a beautiful home in a beautiful setting.

dive said...

I don't really have a hometown, Maria, and you know all about where I live from my posts.
I would never use an online dating service and I'm afraid The Sound of Music wasn't playing over here.
Sigh …

itsonlymagic said...

I live in the county town of Oxfordshire in the City of Oxford, home to the oldest English-speaking University of the world (Cambridge is an offshoot of Oxford University, formed by scholars who left are trouble with the townsfolk). It's a very nice place, with a noticeable divide between the rich and poor in the area and those belonging to the university and those that don't (town and gown). It's an amazing place to grow up because you get a lot of experiences you wouldn't get elsewhere: trespassing on colleges at night, stealing punts, hanging out in very nice areas and parks while doing legally questionable things. We might complain about the tourists (a lot, believe me) but overall it's a great place and the money that floods in from the tourism keeps it going.

It's very liberal, or maybe it is for me because of the people I associate with. There's a small "scene" here, with a few gay pubs and bars. Everyone seems tolerant and we have a small pride every year, which is nice. I can't say I've ever had any problems, and people are very open about their sexuality without contention from others. Religion isn't as widespread as it is seems to be in America, and a lot of people seem to be left-leaning atheists or agnostics. It's hard to sum up the culture because there's a mixture of Muslims, Christians, athetists and just-don't-cares. It's a beautiful place to live with a lot of famous establishments, schools, pastimes and areas that you've no interest in if you live here, but everyone else seems to find fascinating.

onebrick said...

I've been married since before there was internet so I've never used an online dating service, but I know several people who have found their spouses online. I think all of them were through chat, though, and not a service.

I know that most of them represented themselves as other than they are and when it came time to meet had to fess up. Apparently it worked out for them because they are all happy. However, I look at one of my sisters-in-law and her husband and think they would make perfect poster for why you should not troll for love on the internet. Everything about them gives me the willies, but I guess as my dad would have said....if they are together they aren't messing up two other innocent families.

Romany Angel said...

I have never used a dating service but I certainly wouldn't pooh pooh the idea either should I find myself single again. It's actually probably better and safer than going on a blind date in that you probably know more about them and already have a feel for what kind of person they are.


I have met some wonderful people through blogging. The great thing about meeting people this way is that you get to know the person and who they are, often without benefit of knowing what they look like. So often people think someone is not their type based on the way they look when in reality they may be the best thing that ever happened to them if they'd just taken the time to get to know them.


Of course it is very easy to embellish the facts on these dating sites and I'm sure many people do. I've heard horror stories and I know of quite a few people who have met their one and only on line through one medium or another.


Let's face it, it's all just a game of chance isn't it?

tracer123 said...

I live in what was a small town, a suburb now really, named Kelmscott, in Western Australia. I haven't lived here all my life, but I have lived most of it here, and now my missus and I live in the house that I grew up in. Australians, for the most part, are pretty down to earth and say what they think. There have been some changes to society after twelve years of a conservative federal government, most of them centred on the 'rights of the individual,' which has made us selfish and consumerist and avaricious as a nation. Maybe this will change in the future, who can tell?
I love where I live, where I work, and my friends and family. I thinks that's what is important anyway.

Karen said...

I live in semi-snooty town in NJ in a suburb of NYC. Many "new money" semi-famous people live in my town like Football players, Hockey players and soap stars. Plus, Yogi Berra, Olympia Dukakis and Stephen Colbert.

Also, have you seen the Sopranos? That was filmed mainly in my town. There are a lot of people like that around.

We are, further, one of the most liberal, homosexual friendly, towns in NJ. Which is crazy for my fiscally ultra-conservative self. (On "moral" issues, I tend to be very liberal. Thus, I love the homosexual aspect of things.)

My town also has a "downtown", "bad" element. The public schools are multi-racial and a great place to get an education.

I do love my town!

MmeBenaut said...

I think you probably have a good idea of what my area looks like Maria but a snapshot would be 99% white anglosaxon greenies, politically astute if not active and well-educated, white collar workers and professionals. Our allotments are large and therefore expensive. wildlife abounds and so do horses. Many of our neighbours have a few sheep and a couple of horses too although none of our immediate neighbours do. There is probably a local football and cricket team but not having kids at a school and not having grown up in this immediate area, I'm not in touch with those. We have two pubs in the local villages both well patronised and just about anything else one needs including a couple of large supermarkets. Public transport is available but only on the main roads. Most folks have a four wheel drive, not necessarily an SUV though. They also tend to have ride-on lawnmowers to cut the grass, sometimes a tractor. (BTW I can't drive a tractor but if you taught me I think I could pick it up quickly). Everyone has a whipper snipper and other garden tools. About 50% have tennis courts. House prices have consistently risen about 12% a year for the last five years but have now stalled due to the global economic crisis although we've yet to see many effects of that here yet.
Our neighbourhood is so pretty with its many Australian and European trees and flowers. The hilly countryside is just lovely for a Sunday drive. I'm really hoping that you and Bing and Liv will come to visit us one day.

Fusion said...

Well I got fed up with just sitting around by myself last month and threw up a online person on craigslist just to see and got 3 real responses, and one turned out to be a very normal nice women that so far, one month in, is working out well. Time will tell, I hear the three month point is a biggie.

PBS said...

Yes, I saw the last part of "The Sound of Music" always loved that movie. I've not ever used a dating service but do get those pesky E-mail ads from various ones. Happy New Year to you and your loved ones!

fairydogmother said...

I'm from the Seattle area, as i think you know, and I agree with JYankee: the PNW really does have everything - ocean, mountains, desert, hell, we even have a rainforest! We're pretty diverse when it comes to people too, although in some ways more than others. I work near Microsoft, and we have a lot of clients who work there which is wonderful in the sense that you end up meeting people and hearing languages from all over the world. But it also makes me feel much less inclined to opening up about my personal life to colleagues or even letting on that I am gay at all, since it is also one of the more "red" parts of town in a generally "blue" metropolitan area. Odd, that.

Angelissima said...

Online Dating? You betcha...met St. Bernard that way!

I grew up, like Ms. Smitty...on the Jersey Shore, but now after living all over the USA I'm back in Jersey, living in a town next to an Ivy League university. It's fine, but one day when I'm old and gray I'll live in a cottage by the sea -- drink wine all day, paint pictures and bask in sun. Travel to Europe maybe, buy a villa by the sea? It ain't over til its over...live life to the fullest and everyday like its your last.

Happy New Year!

Terroni said...

I love the answers to the online dating question. I've never tried it, but maybe when I know where I'm going to end up next year, I'll give it a whirl. I was sort of hoping to meet someone the old fashioned way, though - in a bar.

Shazza said...

M and I met online, but not through a dating service. I was a chat host for a Gay/Lesbian online service. M was very quiet would just kind of come in, say "Hi" add a few comments and always said good night.

I always go for the quiet ones.

One night she came in and left without saying anything so I sent her an instant message to ask if she was OK. We started chatting pretty regularly, moved it up to phone calls, and then finally we met in person. She was living in Florida and I was here in NJ. Eventually we packed up the ol' U-Haul and moved her up here.

That was about 12 years ago.

sari said...

I HAVE The Sound of Music and still watch it whenever it's on tv, I love it! (and so does my 10 year old).