1) It is not easy to sit in a chair for hours at a time and look at files. I thought this would be relaxing. I found that it was good for a back ache.
2) Getting up and putting on casual dress clothes at 6 in the morning and then putting on makeup is not something that I remember being so hard. I can also wear scrubs if I choose and I am strongly tempted to opt for scrubs from now on. And maybe skip the makeup.
3) I need to bring a book with me for lunchtime. Otherwise, I will sit by myself and someone will make eye contact and ask if they can join me and then I will be compelled to converse with someone who spends the whole lunch allotted time telling me how they just love Mary Kay products and how she sells them now on the side and boy, could I benefit from their eye cream.....
4) Maybe best not to have pictures of Liv on my desk just yet. Every time I looked up, I got to thinking about how today was the first day that I didn't get to take her to school and how I missed that even though I knew she was fine and probably eating a really good hot breakfast and all that...
5) There are a lot of sick people out there who have it a lot worse than I do. Looking at medical charts all day makes you feel like one lucky person. There is always someone who has it worse than you do.
6) 1-2 p.m.is the sleepy time. I felt like I needed to get up and dance the hokey pokey so not to doze off.
7) It is hard to work in an office with other people. I really, really missed my own private office at home. And it is amazing what people will say out loud into their cell phones while you are sitting right there not two feet away from them. ("Well, did you even try that cream, honey? Because I know, hemorrhoids can be so painful!"...This was WAY too much information.)
8) An eight hour day feels like well....an eight hour day. I miss my days where I could cram a lot into a day or nothing, depending on how I felt.
9) I am not the type of person who shows my personality on my desk. I do not want to have handcuffs, a wedding garter belt or pictures of my dog dressed as a witch for Halloween on my desk. If I do start to cart that shit in, shoot me. If I insist on showing other people my dog and calling him my precious baby, shoot me again.
10) There is always some guy who wants to chat with every new woman in an office. This guy makes infantile jokes about being married, but "don't let that stop you from flirting!" It is best not to humor him. Just stare coldly at him and say, "Well, I'm gay and I heard you were too." That will shut him up.
11) Don't drink five cups of coffee in the morning no matter how tired I am. By 11, every time the phone rings, I will jump like a puppet on a string because I am over caffeinated.
12) Realize that I will have to fill out 400 forms on the first day.
13) When I go to pick up my daughter from school, I should not be all hurt when she stands and wastes time talking to her friends instead of running into my arms and screaming "I missed you so much!" She will get in the car and the first sentence out of her mouth will be, "Can I have Constance over for a play date tomorrow?"
14) When I get home, remember that no one has been there all day long and the dog will really need to go out ASAP and that the dishwasher will not have been emptied and that my bed will look so, so inviting......
15) Get used to this. I am now a cog in the wheel. But, I have great insurance and hey, I got through it even with an ear infection and shoes that felt just plain pinchy.