It has been hard for me to feel so...naked in front of all of my real life and Blogville friends lately. Many of you have written to me telling me that you love the way I "lay it all out there" or how I am "so genuine."
The truth is that I don't really lay it all out there and while I may be genuine, I am not always forthcoming. I don't want to write about my illness. I want to overcome it and THEN write about it. I write as honestly as I am able about my personal life to a certain degree and the rest I keep kindly to myself. I think that my partner, Bing, and my best friend, Harriet are the only ones in the world who have access to the total package of me. And why they aren't running away in the opposite direction is amazing to me. Liv knows me very well too, but as her parent, I protect her from the worst parts of myself. I strive to be the best role model that I can for her. It is probably the one perfectly unselfish thing I have done in my entire life, protecting her. Behaving myself for the love of her.
I have been receiving so many good wishes e-mails and thoughts and posts lately and I must say that they touch me to the core.
I have felt so...uplifted by all of you. So, thank you to those of you who have been there for me even though I stipulated that I did not want sympathy. I haven't really felt that awkward sympathy from anyone. Mostly, I just felt sort of taken in hand, patted gently.
And for that, I thank you. It has meant a lot to me to have such a group of people who have never met me, make such an easy bridge for me to pass over. How did I ever get so lucky to have this eclectic, funny, smart, generous, kind, weird ass, loudly quiet, diverse group of people looking out for me and reaching across the miles to let me know that I wasn't alone?
Thanks for making me snicker and laugh and feel looked after. But, mostly thank you for just letting me be myself and liking me fine just the same.
Okay, I don't want to pull a Sally Field here ("You like me! You really like me!") If you will allow me one small gesture of gushiness, I would be appreciative.
So..with that in mind, this one's for all of you.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.