A weekend without Liv.

It's been fine. She's called three times. She is having fun. She is ecstatic about something called a wave runner. When I asked Bing to explain what that was, she carefully glanced at me and said that I would probably not want to know...I would just jump in the car and go flying up to get Liv.

"Well, she DID say that Burt (her friend's father) rides it with them," I answered.

Good was all Bing would say about that.

I spent yesterday doing household chores to keep busy while Bing went to a friend's house to jam. I know from experience that when musicians do this, it might be hours before she came home. So..I windexed all the windows and mirrors and rubbed lemon oil into the furniture. Played June Cleaver...except I didn't bake. I'm not that stupid. No sense in poisoning everyone.

Bing came home in time for dinner and we decided to go out for a sandwich. We had some issues to hash through and I think her reasoning was that if I was in a restaurant, I would not get shrill.....

Bing is pretty fucking smart....

Our problem revolves around jealousy and I find that a bit embarrassing because I like to brag that I am not a jealous person.

That is a lie.

Bing has an ex. She lives in our city. At one time, she and Bing were very close, so close that Bing became very attached to this woman's children, who are both in college now.

This woman's name is Annie. I call her ferret face. I hate dislike her. She teaches at a high school and since Bing also teaches high school, they sometimes see each other. She also lives very close to us so we sometimes see her in grocery stores, etc.

When we do run into her, Annie always looks like she would still like to french kiss Bing. She barely looks at me and when she does, she behaves as if I have massive body odor and she is trying to get past that fact.

Plus, for some odd reason, each and every time we see Annie, I always seem to either be limping and using a cane or else I have no makeup on and I am having a bad hair day. My clothes almost always are sporting a ketchup stain or grass stains from gardening, etc. In short, I look like Granny Clampett when I wish I looked like Elly May.

Annie calls Bing frequently with questions about "school stuff." Bing is always very polite and friendly and always turns down her requests to "meet for coffee and talk about that fundraiser" etc. She also sends Bing cards in the mail from time to time. Just funny little thinking of you cards. On the inside, it always says something like, "I am so glad that we are friends!" Bing reads them, shrugs and discards them. Sometimes, she throws them away without reading them and I like that best.

Again. I hate dislike her. Intensely.

But, I make it a point to never let her see that. And I will be damned if I will turn into some sort of needy clinger when we see her. I never stoop to putting my hand on Bing's arm or getting a sign out of my purse that says, she's taken, you bitch and putting it on Bing's chest.

Well, Annie's son just graduated from college. She sent Bing (my name was nowhere on the card) an announcement. Bing sent him money. She didn't tell me that she did that until the thank you card came in the mail.

And I freaked. I am embarrassed about this. Because Annie's children don't deserve to be in on my hatred dislike of their mother. And Bing was a big part of their lives for several years, even went on a girl scout camping trip with Annie's daughter when she was Liv's age.

At any rate, it was high time that Bing and I discussed Annie. We both acknowledged it. But, with Liv around it was hard to find time to talk about it. Plus, Bing knows that I tend to get very um....okay...it's the truth...sarcastic and venomous about Annie. Bing truly believes that Annie is "Totally harmless...she just wants to be friends. I wish I knew why you react so strongly to her. You have exes. I don't get all snotty when Cory is in town and calls you. Annie is a good person, maybe a little lonely, but she is basically kind of shy, you know?"
No, I don't know this. She puts on a great act, though.

So, we talked it through in the restaurant and we agreed that it was okay that Bing had sent her son money for his graduation. We also agreed that she needs to talk to Annie about boundaries. We both know that Annie will just sputter that "but we are still friends...why can't I send cards?" Bing said that from now on, she will simply toss all Annie's correspondence in the trash and that when she calls on the phone, if it isn't some urgent school business, she will get off the phone.

As arguments go, this one was fairly painless. And I don't care what anyone says about lesbians always being part of a big happy family, exes and all....I don't want Annie to be any part of mine.

We came home and Bing suggested that since Liv was gone, we should get some movie at the rental store that we couldn't see with her here. I sent her to the store to pick up something.

Big mistake.

She came home with Superbad. I stared at the DVD.

"Please tell me you are kidding?" I whispered.

She held up another DVD in her other hand. Sweeney Todd. She smiled. "One for me and one for you, babycakes," she said. "C'mon...it is Johnny Depp. Your hetero wet dream man."

I had to laugh. Agreed.

So we watched Superbad last night. And you know, it wasn't as bad as I feared it would be. I didn't howl and stamp my feet like Bing did, but...okay. I chuckled a few times. Okay. Several times.

This afternoon, we are watching Johnny......

It stormed early this morning. I woke up, worried about Liv. Nudged Bing. Before I could even say anything, she cuddled me close, said, "Listen to the rain. It isn't one of those storms. It is just your run of the mill, regular Spring storms. No sirens. No sideways rain. No thunder so loud that your ears ring. No lightning that feels like a whip cracking. Just rain. Go back to sleep, honey....Liv is fine. They are staying in a cabin tonight, remember? She is fine..."

So, I drifted back.

We watched Meet The Press this morning. I cried. I know it is stupid to miss a man who I never knew, but I fucking LIKED Tim Russert. He was just...so everyman. He made politics fascinating. He always seemed to just relish his job. It was a tribute show to him with two of my favorites: Mary Matalin and James Carville. We always watched Meet The Press on Sunday mornings. Sometimes, I didn't sit down and watch it closely, often I was in and out of the living room, but I liked hearing about the politics of the day, what was going on. I loved Tim's questions. It was important to me that Liv grow up listening to politics on Sunday mornings. I wanted to raise a child who was aware of the mechanics of her country, the movers and shakers, how things worked in our government. She never watched closely, often sat on the floor coloring or reading a book. But, it was her background music. That was important to me. I hope they get someone half as interesting to replace Tim.

Sven came over to mow the lawn for Bing as a father/bing's day gift to her. He and I talked for a while. He is only staying in the city for another week and then he goes back to his school to take a summer class and work out with the football team. He will be on first string this year and Bing and I are planning a trip to see one of his games in early October.

Sven is currently without a girlfriend. His girlfriend from Hawaii dumped him. He sat and mused about this as he drank his Dr. Pepper while he took a break from mowing.

"I feel weird not being with someone," he said. "I like having a girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, there are lots of girls that would be with me. When you are on the football team, good lord, they come up to you at parties in droves. I had one girl come up and offer to give me a blow job. She didn't even know my name, Maria! She just knew I was first string football team..."

I asked him if he took her up on it.

He looked down. "This is going to sound so wussy. But, I said no. I mean...I just don't want some slutty girl. I want a...a...nice one. This is going to sound so textbook psych, but I want a girl like my mom, like you. I want someone like mom who is warm and loving and patient and kind and someone like you who is smart and funny."

"You think I'm smart and funny?" I asked him, coyly.

He laughed. "Quit fishin'. Yeah. I think you are smart and funny. You know what is really, really funny? I don't even care that much about looks anymore. When I was in high school, I wanted a big boobed girl who was hot looking. Now, I want something else. I mean, I don't want her to be a dog or anything....."

I told him that I knew what he meant. He wanted substance.

"YES!" he shouted. "I want substance. I want someone who likes ME, not the football player. And if she is hot looking, all the better...but it isn't a prerequisite, you know?"

I looked at him with so much love. THAT'S the Sven I know and love. I told him that with his good looks (and he really is quite nice looking, I think), he would find another girl in no time. But...hey..he was only NINETEEN. Right now, he needed to concentrate on school and football...

He sighed. "You sound exactly like my mother," he groaned. "Hell, you actually ARE sort of like my second mom, you know..."

I jumped up and hugged him even though, frankly, he smelled pretty bad. He hugged me back and then got up to finish the yard. Bing came out to sit with me and watch him. She was shy with happiness at his father/Bing's day gift to her.

We both agreed that he was one of the good ones. He needs to find someone really special. He will. In time.

Bing put her hand on my knee. Waggled her eyebrows at me.

"Hey, when does Liv come home tonight?"

I told her around 8, I thought.

"Still a whole day alone together.." she said, smiling.

Yup.

I got up to go weed the garden. She got up to go clean out the gutters.

I do have a question, though. Do any of you have jealousies regarding your partner's exes?

Annie, eat your heart out, bitch.....