Tonight as we talked on the phone, I was sitting outside on the balcony. It was hot. You asked me if I missed you. I said, somewhat flippantly, I admit it, "Well...yeah. Of course, I do."
I was lying.
I don't just miss you, Bing. I miss you. I miss you in my stomach and my arms and my eyes. My lips.
I started thinking of our song. That one. The first one we danced to. It was on the balcony that I was sitting on. The weather was hot then too. We had the radio on. We were having a night cap after a dinner out. Not a date, really. I wouldn't allow dates. You knew that.
But, I remember that song coming on and you smiling and getting all soft in your eyes.
I love this song...you said.
I said that I did too. You held your arms out to me and I went into them, okay..I sort of kind of reluctantly went into them.
Because it wasn't a date. I had told you that from the get go.
And we danced. And swayed together and kissed. And every time that soft sweet guitar lick flailed through that song, I went all shivery.
Who would have guessed that all my best love scenes, the ones that, in the end, mattered the most, would be played out with you?
Certainly not me.
Because, hey...it was not a date. I had specified that.
Years later, we would be sitting at a friend's house and you and some others would be fooling around on your guitars and you would look directly at me and play that beginning guitar slide of that song and my stomach would flip over like I was fifteen.
Our eyes would lock through the whole song and you would get very, very lucky when we got home from that party. A couple by that time.
I could only drag my feet for so long. And you knew all along.
So, my cajun love, my Beb, I must admit that I am de'pouille without you. I am remembering that un p'tit bec that started the whole love story in motion.
I am missing you more than I can say.
And I am sending you this song to let you know that I might sound all calm and aloof, but inside, I am feeling your arms around me and your mouth on mine on this balcony on that hot summer night when it all began.