Meme #4560

This one is courtesy of Dive.

SEVEN SINS.

WRATH

With whom did you last get angry?
Last night, at a professor in my department. I was trying to leave after giving a test to a group of students who spent the whole time asking me ridiculous questions about the test. ("How much do the multiple choice questions count again?" As it clearly states on your paper....they count as 15 points apiece, Maggie!) This professor was trying to get me to sign a petition about a stupid dress code. I told her that as far as I was concerned, these students were old enough to figure out their clothes for themselves. She then said, "This is about that comment I made to Dr. Jones about your sexuality. isn't it? I think it is petty of you to refuse to sign as punishment." I had no idea what she was talking about, but I can now tell you with certainty that she better not ask me for any favors.

What is your weapon of choice?
Sarcasm. Duh.

Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? How about the same sex?
Not unless my child was in danger and then the gloves come off.

Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
A client. He told me that my observations "sucked" and picked a jury without me. He lost his case. So there, dumb ass. Trust me next time. I TOLD you that woman with the Heidi braids wasn't as easygoing as she appeared to be.

What is your pet peeve?
Bigots who speak.

Do you keep grudges or can you let them go easily?
If I am mad, I pretty much stay mad until you grovel appropriately.

SLOTH

What is the one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't?
Take a vitamin.

What is the latest you have woken up?
In my pre-Liv days, it was probably around noon.

Name a person you've been meaning to contact but haven't.
My ex. Her father died and I really should call her. I sent a card, but I should call.

What is the last lame excuse that you made?
A week ago, I parked in the drop off lane at Liv's school because she was snack manager and we had a big bowl of grapes to bring inside the school. When I came out, the head mistress asked me to please not park there, it was only to drop children off and I said that I had forgotten. I hadn't. I was being a lazy slob and there really was no excuse for doing that. I get really pissed off when I go to drop Liv off and someone has parked there.

Have you ever watched an informmercial all the way through?
Not only did I watch it, I stupidly was suckered into buying the product. I was having terrible back pain, nothing was working and this informmercial came on about these shoe inserts that were supposed to work like magic. I went to the store and spent over a hundred bucks on specially fitted shoe inserts. They did not work. Funny, what people will do to try to avoid pain.

How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm this morning?
None. I deliberately set my alarm across the room so that I have to get up to shut it off. I know myself very well.

GLUTTONY

What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
Vanilla chai tea from Starbucks. I am an addict.

Are you a meat eater?
Oh, yeah. And worse, I like my steak bloody rare.

What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting?
I have no idea. Probably because I was so drunk that I couldn't count the glasses anymore. But, sighing here...this was in my pre-Liv days. Now, I have an occasional martini.

Are you comfortable with your drinking and eating habits?
Quite honestly...no. I think we all eat too much in America.

Do you enjoy candy and sweets?
Only if I am breathing.

Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy?
Salty, by a long shot. I can eat an entire sack of Lay's potato chips if someone doesn't snatch it out of my hands. I like chili fritos too and ranch doritos....ah.

Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought "lunch"?
No. Just no.

GREED

How many credit cards do you own?
Enough to establish a good credit rating.

If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
This is the part where everyone lies. I won't. I would sock enough away for Liv's college education and then double it because you never know what our world will cost by then. I would pay off my house, get new cars for Bing and me. There would not be THAT much left, so I would invest wisely. I already give generously to two charities and that would continue. But...no. I would not share with my family unless they were really in a jam. My mother left my sisters nearly a million dollars and disowned me, so I figure that they are doing just fine without me...

Would you rather be rich or famous?
I am all about the money and fame seems like a total pain in the ass. Like I want to be chased down tunnels and have my garbage picked through? Do I look stupid?

Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make mega bucks?
Yes, but just until I made enough to be able to to quit and live without worry for the rest of my life.

PRIDE

What is one thing that you have done that you are most proud of?
I think I am a good mother to Liv. I have never tried so hard at anything else.

What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of?
Both of my parents are dead. My Da died when I was a kid, but I think he would have been proud that I am a good gardener since he loved gardens. My mother died when I was in my 30's and she told me before she died in a letter that my being a lesbian was the biggest humiliation of her life and that I was going straight to hell, so she guessed she wouldn't see me again. I don't think she was proud of anything except the fact that I always made very good grades in school.

What thng would you like to accomplish late in your life?
I'd like to have enough friends that my funeral would be a fun farewell party.

Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
No. I would be pretty surprised to even come in third...

Have you ever entered a contest of skill knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
Thinking hard here. No.

Have you ever cheated to get a better score?
Honestly? NO. I have never cheated on a test or anything in my life.

What did you do today that you're proud of?
I didn't let Liv see how depressed I feel about life in general lately. I have never liked parents who involve their children in their inner pain. I'm not advocating lying to your children, I just believe that they shouldn't have to deal with your junk.

LUST

How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies, family, strippers, locker rooms?)
I'm snickering. This is a sly old way to ask how many lovers I have had. So, I have seen seven. Wait. Make that eight because I once saw my bff, Harriet, naked. No, it wasn't like that. She was pregnant and taking a shower while I waited for her. I heard her calling me and when I came into the bathroom, she had fainted in the shower. So...yeah..I saw her naked as a jaybird and have never let her forget that.

How many people have seen you naked (not counting physicians, doctors, family, locker rooms or when you were a young child)?
First off, a physician and a doctor are the same thing, yes? That has been bugging me. Now. I will say seven.

Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a person of your chosen sex during a normal conversation?
No. I am very careful not to indulge. It's RUDE.

What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice?
The neck. And it is a pity that Bing is almost pathologically ticklish there. She REFUSES to let me at her neck.

Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons?
Nope. And I don't think I'm interested. I mean, it would be so complicated and someone would inevitably be left out. Or...I dunno. Maybe not. Maybe it would be an incredible experience, I just can't see me in that picture. I'd probably start laughing and ruin it because I tend to find stuff like that sort of funny.

Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
No. And I'd probably ruin that by laughing too or say something like, "Ok..where is candid camera?"

ENVY

What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
Easy. Harriet just got this boss new car. I covet it.

Who would you want to go on Trading Spaces with?
Again, easy. Harriet. She knows exactly how I would redo my house if I could and vice versa. We would be good at that.

If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be?
Myself. Because, I mean...who knows what evil could secretly lurk in someone's heart? At least I know what I'm getting with me. And I could never give up Liv and Bing and the rest of my tribe. Me with a winning lottery ticket would be awesome, but I sort of wonder if you have to be a creepy pee butt person to win those...

Have you ever been cheated on?
Once that I know of. She was gone JUST. LIKE. THAT. Because I am pretty cool about lots of things, but not that.

Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
Sure. Who hasn't? I would like a smaller ass. A package with no arthritis. No sciatica. No colitis. I would like to be healthy as a horse, forget the nose job.

What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
Patience. The ability to forgive easily. It just isn't in my DNA.

WHAT DEADLY SIN

do you do the most often?
Sloth

do you do the least often?
Greed

Is your favorite to act on?
C'mon...you know what it is: Lust!