Bowling girls....

Bing and I decided to take Liv bowling today. It was god-awful hot and humid out and we were all spending way too much time watching TV. So, after a hearty lunch of peanut butter and jam sandwiches, we were off.

We have been bowling once before. At a different bowling alley. This time, we decided to try an old relic in the city called Kasey's.

We walked in and I am NOT kidding, there was an aged Tony Manero from Saturday Night Fever. He didn't have the white suit, though. He was dressed in a dapper looking close fitting bronze spandex tee shirt and matching brown slacks. His ginger colored hair was done up, John Travolta/Tony Manero style.

Perfect. Every hair in place.

He wore several gold chains around his neck. I knew that I was going to like him right off the bat. How can you not like Tony Manero?

We went to the counter to pay for our games and I coquettishly asked him if he was Kasey, the name on the front of the place.

He smiled at me, revealing even teeth, albeit a little yellowish.

"No," he said. "My name is Vito. And I am assuming your name is Madonna?"

Well, well. He was flirting with me, the silver tongued cavalier.

Because he was being kind about the Madonna reference. I am far more likely to be compared with Florence Henderson.

I paid him for the games and he asked our shoe sizes, bringing out a particularly snazzy pair of size 8's for moi. I rewarded him with a bright smile.

Bing held up her gold and brown clodhoppers and compared them to my hot pink and green ones.

"You are such a tease," she commented, rather grumpily, I thought.

We went to our (bumpered) lane. Everything is done electronically now. Much different from my junior high days when you had to actually know how to figure out a strike from a spare.

The screen asked for our names. Bing immediately listed hers as Peaches. Liv decided on Lucky. I said that I would be Laverne. Bing wrote down Madonna instead.

Such a comedian.

50's music was blaring over the intercom. I wished that I had a poodle skirt and a nice white blouse with a peter pan color and my initial on the breast pocket. But, no. I had to settle for my pair of jean shorts and my dark blue tee shirt.

Liv, I mean Lucky went first.

And got a strike. She leaped into the air, fist aiming at the sky.

"Good one, goldilocks!" we heard behind us.

It was Vito.

It was my turn. I knew he was watching my ass. I pondered sashaying it for him. decided that since I was a 49 year old married lesbian who looked nothing like Madonna, I should just throw the damn ball.

I managed to get 7 pins down. Thank god for bumpers is all I will say about that.

Rock Around the Clock came on loudly over the speakers.

Lucky began to dance. Vito joined her. He held out his hands to me, wiggling his fingers to join them.

"Go on, Madonna," I heard Peaches say.

So I did. I danced for a few moments. Peaches sat smiling at us. Vito had some smooth moves that were completely wasted on two left feet me.

The song ended and Vito bowed and left us. We resumed playing.

Lucky ended up beating us both. She scored 105. Peaches scored 90. Madonna scored 89.

We took off our shoes and handed them in.

"You lovely gals come back again real soon," Vito called after us as we left.

I said that we would. And I made sure to swish a little when I walked out the door.

Peaches gave me a look and laughed.

"Slut," she whispered in my ear.

"Hey, I'm like a Virgin," I whispered back. "I still have it, missy."

Peaches smiled. "Yes, you do, Madonna. Yes, you do."

I love her. Because she could have said Florence, but she didn't. She knows how badly I need my illusions.