Friday, June 03, 2016

The last thought is always for Bing

Sighing. Looks like the blog creeps are back. Bing has called in the troops to put up more fire walls, etc. I suppose I should care more but the truth is that I am so tired of this meddling, this tampering, this sticking of fists in my blog that I hardly care anymore.

Life goes on. Children grow up. You retire and settle into a quieter life. There are fits and starts of disbelief (Trump as our president? God save us...) and times of pain. But interwoven into everything, good and bad, joyous and mean spirited....there she is.

The one who matters the most. The one who is at the beginning and end of every good story. Life goes on and so do we.

I don't really know what happens next. Let's throw the glitter in the air and see where it comes down. In the meantime, there is always and forever this:


Thursday, March 17, 2016

Home with the flu.

Home with the flu. SOOO glad I got that flu shot! It obviously didn't work. I had forgotten how one can feel freezing cold one second and steaming hot the next. And my hair? I looked better when I was bald. I look like Barbara Bush.

But, then I channel surf and find this and all of a sudden I'm 17 all over again and while I know in my head that Duckie is the best choice....my knees buckle over Andrew McCarthy.



God, I miss being so young, so nubile, so ready for the world.

Thursday, March 03, 2016

Another try

I am truly sorry that so many of your comments aren't posting. I do read them and post them, but they tend to be taken away within a day or so. Also, yes...several of my new posts were high jacked as well. Our nerd squad keeps giving me information that I do not want about a person whom I don't care to know much more about. I try to let Bing handle it. She's done most of the reading of everything dug up and I have been known to plug my ears and hum because, no, I do not want to know what new business this stalker has or what her political views are. Kind of a slippery tyrant, though, or so they tell me. I am urged to take the blog private. Trying to avoid that. We'll see. Mostly I am just bewildered that someone whom I could care less about seems obsessed with not only me, but my whole family and making my life as miserable as possible by signing me up for magazines that I have no interest in (hydroponic farming) and taunting me for having had cancer and yes, fucking up my blog and emails. 

So, I will give this one more try and see what happens.

THINGS THAT MAKE ME LAUGH....because I have done my share of crying in the last year and it is just easier.

1) Our dog, Socks, is madly in love with a black poodle that has shown up a few times on our daily walks in the park. The weather has been unusually balmy for March, so I've been walking with him to the park daily and I swear he looks for her. I try to aid and abet as well as I can. I have noticed that the poodle (her name is Hazel) has an owner who walks her around 2 in the afternoon and I've been trying to show up around that time. The only problem is that Hazel's human is a tall, good looking man several years younger than me and I fear that he is realizing what we're up to, except that he thinks that perhaps it is ME interested in him and not Socks being interested in Hazel. He gives me these sweet pitying looks and I can just see him going home and telling his wife that there is this older woman in the park who has it bad for him. But, I swear Socks goes limp with love at the mere sight of Hazel. He sniffs her butt in a gentlemanly way and sticks his chest out when they walk side by side. He growls menacingly at other dogs who dare to cast an eye at Hazel. I've tried to talk to him about this as he's trying WAY too hard and it shows. If Hazel seemed to be amused by squirrels, Socks will try to look amused as well, even though he has never met a squirrel that he liked. When she makes these little whimpering noises when we say goodbye, I swear he pouts all the way home. WHY didn't I invite them home for a playdate? Well, because I don't KNOW this human, Socks and I can't be entertaining strange men in my house just so that you can prance around the back yard trying to impress Hazel with your skill at catching a frisbee.  And Hazel? Ah. I fear she is a femme fatale. I suspect that she has several other dogs on a string as well. Poor Socks. Oh, well. It happens to all of us at some time in our lives, yes?

2) Watching the Republican Debates. This is fodder for SNL each and every time. And each and every time, Bing and I look over incredulously at each other. Seriously? Did the Donald just tell Ted Cruz to shut up? Did he just call Marco Rubio little Marco? Why can't anyone else see how he struts like a peacock? My god, he cracks himself up over and over again. Watching him with Jeb Bush was almost painful. Like Jeb was the bespectacled skinny kid on the playground and the Donald was the bully taking his lunch money over and over and over again. But what isn't funny? The way this creepy narcissist keeps winning primaries. I do admit to a sort of rubbernecking interest in watching those debates, though. Ted Cruz tries so hard to look as if he is above all of this, but then ends up with his chin quivering in fury as the king of liars struts around calling him one. And is it just me or does anyone else think that Ted Cruz is a closet queen? Every time I see him, I think to myself that this man is gay. Not that I care, that is fine and dandy with me. What isn't fine and dandy is being gay and trotting out your wife and kids like set pieces. Bing reminds me that if Ted was gay, the Democrats would have surely outed him by now. My guess is that he is waaayyy in the closet or the most discreet man on the planet.

3) Ok...I find it odd that a woman would tell me that she is a lesbian with triplets who won the lottery when she is really a straight woman married to a man and the mother of four non-trips. And this same woman holds herself up as a paragon of honesty. Ok, Utah, you win. You warned me. I owe you fifty bucks. Sorry...this will probably not make sense to any one else. I think you had to be there.

4) Bing and I are going through cruise brochures. Do we want to consider an American cruise like following the Lewis and Clark trail or something called "Mark Twain's love with a REAL LIFE Mark Twain impersonator." As opposed to what? A fake one? Do we want to go on a theme cruise? A running cruise? This confuses me. Isn't the whole point of a cruise to lollygag? Why would I want to run? Are they going to set the ship on fire periodically? How about a conservative cruise? Bing thinks that this would be a gas. To go on one and then mess with everyone on board. Righto, Ms. Genius. Like I want to sit around and listen to some rich people with closed minds getting all verbose about how much they dislike obamacare? But, then there is the liberal cruise. That sounds more fun. But, it's not even close to November and I am already sick to death of politics. How about an alternative lifestyle cruise? The picture showed two hot muscular, deeply tanned men gazing adoringly into each others eyes. The good news is that Bing and I would be able to hold hands with no dirty looks. The bad news would be that I suspect there would be PDAs flying all over the place and we aren't into sucking face in public. Then there is the singles cruise. Bing suggested that we could take that and um...ROLE PLAY. That we could pretend to meet and fall in love. I admit that I gave her a very long probing look. Excuse me? I can't even perform phone sex without sounding like a wooden voiced idiot ("Oh, honey, I am so um....wet..? Is that the right word?") Does she really think I could pull off something of this magnitude? Although, it might be fun to see her try to do this. I suggested the Shakespeare cruise. All Shakespeare, all the time. She mimed vomiting. Such an actress I married! Our final look was at a mystery cruise. I think we might actually be good at this. We are both good at puzzles, both have relatively high IQs and are both competitive. My oncologist tells me that I would have made an excellent Viking, too. So? But, this sounds a lot like a working vacation and I have already had too many of those. So...no cruises. We are now looking at a cross country trip this Summer to attend a friend's wedding, a family vacation. And...just for us...maybe a trip to Italy, to Paris or to Spain. I have always wanted to see Michaelangelo's Pieta. Bing, being Bing, wants to run with the bulls.

5) This video. It just made me laugh and smile.



Ok...let's see how long this stays up. Any wagers?

Friday, February 05, 2016

I suppose this will be funny one day

....or not. Probably not.

If you are getting email from me, it isn't from me. Bing received email yesterday from me, except it wasn't me. So, for now...I'm not sending out anything.

Received a virtual bouquet of flowers (forget me nots....ICK)....with a snide little note about cancer.

Have been signed up for magazines that I did not order. Magazines about cancer. Also, strangely, one about organic farming.

The blog seems better except that I seem to have no control over comments. But, just writing on it doesn't feel safe anymore. It feels....fingered.

We are keeping a sharp eye on everything. Bank accounts. All social media. I let Bing do all the talking with our techie nerd guys because I just get so creeped out if I hear too much.

I am spending my Winter days watching good movies, reading good books and writing copiously in notebooks and going in for last checkups. If I pass the final body scan in two weeks, I will be considered cancer free. But, the cost was great and I miss working. So...volunteering. This frees me up for those afternoon naps that I still seem to need. In my blood tests, I am dangerously low on Vitamin D and magnesium. So, taking these pills that look like they should be for horses, not humans....

Binge watching The Office again.



I finished this book days ago, but am still carrying it around because I need to keep the characters close to me:





I allow myself one movie per day to watch and have caught up on so many that I wanted to see but just didn't have the time:








And looking forward to meeting up with Daryl again.....



Basically, this is the new me:

"I'm lost. I've gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait here..."  (author unknown)

And thinking these hard thoughts:

"And yet, even as she spoke, she knew that she didn't wish to come back, not to stay, not to live. She loved the little yellow cottage more than she loved any place on earth, but she was through with it except in her memories."  Maud Hart Lovelace.

And last but not least, some food for thought for all of us:




Stay warm and safe out there.


Saturday, January 30, 2016

Sorry

Still workin' on it. Our nerd tech team tells me that "Wow, this dude is like...really obsessed not only with you, but with your whole family." No shit. Everything seems to be back to working okay except for some of my email and the blog. I sometimes get your emails to me on my iphone but never my laptop and then they fade away within a few minutes. And, I'm not even going into the worry about our bank accounts, etc. Ugh. Again, sorry. We'll see...

Friday, January 15, 2016

The good, the bad, and the ugly

The good: What a splendid time was had in New Orleans. I was not ready to leave, had to be pried away from that city with a crowbar. I enjoyed beautiful, mild weather. Coffee heaped with chicory. Beignets. So many beignets that I gained 7 pounds. Listening to the soft cadence of those New Orleans' voices lulled me to sleep night after night after night.

I saw this movie and saw Bing up on the big screen. Fell in love all over again.  Because, while bad boys and girls hold a strange fascination for me, I settled for the ultimate good person and have never regretted it. That smile. Good lord. That smile. Mo luaidh.


 
And that Gaelic music....like listening to my Da all over again.




The bad: back to reality. Alan Rickman died of cancer. To say that I adored Severus Snape is an understatement. I have this weakness for bad boys, yes. And he was the ultimate bad boy with a true blue heart. Those are the ones who take my heart and sail away with it. I had this strange pulling towards Snape in every one of Rowling's books and then, at the end, when he proved his bad-guy-is-really-a-good guy, I was almost giddy in love with him.



 More bad: Coming home to find that my blog, my email...ALL of  my social media had been hi-jacked. I didn't check once when I was away. Didn't use my phone. Didn't sneak a peek on Bing's lap top. I lapped up NOT having social media of any kind. And then came home to discover that, in my absence, someone had been having a rather meanly nice time. If you received an email from me in the past month, it WAS NOT ME. And some of you did, it seems. We hired our old geek squad to track everyone down and reset things, but I still feel....totally creeped out. Probably the usual suspect(s).....but....just....ICK. Things are still being tracked down.

This was my safe place to land at the end of the day and now it feels....unsafe again. I don't know that I will be able to write for a while. Have patience until I get my sea legs back, if ever. Not using social media was not difficult for me. It was kind of....freeing.

I had hoped for a better start to the new year. But...you get what you get and you deal. Hope your year is off on a better foot.


Saturday, December 12, 2015

A Change is as Good as a Rest

The older I get, the harder it is to travel. Well, physically. Mentally, I am always up for a journey. But, physically? No.

Tomorrow we leave for Louisiana. In the car. I've not been okayed to fly by my oncologist, so we decided to make a road trip of it. Bing, me, a dog and so many gifts that there is barely room for luggage. Liv will stay with a friend and join us when school gets out.

Bing has planned a very slow journey. Just about four to five hours a day. She worries of tiring me. I've been thinking of books lately, of journeys.

Wild by Strayed. Into the Wild by Krakauer. One was a journey that ended well, the other, not so much. And then there's Walden. Thoreau used to fascinate me until I did some research on his dance with nature and realized that having his sister visit with cookies twice a week was not really roughing it. The shine went off that halo.

We won't be roughing it at all. Staying in really nice hotels. When I mention to Bing that this feels like a journey that I need and that I wish I could be more like Cheryl Strayed, she snorts. Says that she has just one word for me: insulin.

She's right. I'd never make it on a rough journey. God help me if there ever is a zombie apocalypse.
But, I've been housebound for so long that I am hungry to be away. Someplace warmer. Someplace where I will have easy access to beignets and coffee that has more chicory in it than most people can stand.

I'm eager to go. The laptop is not coming with me. Bing, of course, will bring hers. I do not think I could pry that thing out of her hands if I tried. So, no...we will in no way, shape or form be roughing it.

And we don't travel well together as a rule, so there's that. But, maybe this time will be different. I like to stop and see art museums. I even like casinos. She cannot stand art museums and the last time we went to a casino she asked me if I enjoyed throwing my hard earned money down the drain. She likes anything with music. I may be okay with that. As long as it isn't jazz, which she adores. So, you see the problem.

Still, I plan to see it as a journey and if all goes as planned, I will be driving home alone and let Bing and Liv fly back together after the new year when school and work come back into play.

All of you have a lovely holiday and a good start to the new year.